Sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen in Annie Hall, 1977
#wank #woody #pr0n #self #joke
by mandingoe November 07, 2005
Artificial stimulus of genital organs
Javiers was experimenting with artificial stimulus of his genital organ in his bedroom.

another term for masturbation

#masturbation #mock #false #fake #stimulations
by Ryan Gives June 19, 2007
The act of self (sexual) pleasure. Used by those who: 1) are too ugly to have real sex. 2) Those who wish to discover their bodies can still produce bodily fluids. 3) Wish to fantasize/remember mummy, daddy, brother, sister (any family relative) coming into their room late at night and doing things to them they've been told never to tell anyone about. 4) An art used by dirty old men to show the young girls watching that he really loves them. 5) What men do when they're horny but their wives/girlfriends/boyfriends aren't. 6) What women do when they're horny but their husband's/boyfriends/girlfriends aren't
"Sorry darling, I didn't mean for you to catch me masturbating in front of your sister, but I think it's only right I teach her about masturbation"

"I do apologise Officer, but I think the woman is so attractive, I had to show my love for her through masturbation"

"No, my friend, I wouldn't worry that you caught your wife in the act of masturbation. She once said that she thinks about me when she masturbates"
#wanking #rubbing #knocking one out #jerking #chugging
by Dr Phew August 14, 2011
The act of looking or staring intently at something for no appearent reason. If more than two people are doing this, it is called a Circle Jerk.
I love masturbation because it gives me time to really observe the world.
#jerk #cum #eye #autoerotic #boner #horny
by Jackin_cummin_charlie October 17, 2010
The act of blowing ones nose. Too much masturbation can cause chafing and not enough can cause build up of fluids.
"hand me a tissue, I need to masturbate" "I think I'm sick, I've been masturbating all day" "jimmy uses masturbation to clear his sinuses"
#nose #tissue #masturbation #funny #chafing #fluids
by Tranchinafy March 26, 2011
something a guy has to do every day if he hasnt had sex or it will come out at night in the form of a wet dream and mess up his boxers
brb gotta go masturbate
by sycop August 12, 2005
Sex with someone have known your entire life. except instead of a vagina he has fingernails...gross.
i wonder if mr. rogers ever rocked his casbah..hmm masturbation is silly.
#beating off #jerking off #jacking off #masturbate #wanking
by J Boy August 23, 2009
the 5 finger knuckle shuffle, waxing the pud... and so on
Tom is the sea captain, He's also good at putting bait on the hook... making him the masturbater
by the austinator April 04, 2003
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