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14.
If you like pussy you can fit a bowling ball into, Massapequa is right for you.

A town comprised of wanna-be gangsters, and a limitless amount of sluts ranging from late teen all the way to the ripe age of 11.

Where are the parents you may ask? Well, they either don't give a fuck, or they pretend they have no clue that their son comes home at 1 AM stoned, drunk, and probably butt-fucked by his homo-in-denial buddy, and a daughter who's been knocked up serveral times and has plenty more to come.

A town where driving 70 miles per hour down a sidestreet makes natives feel they have a really huge cock. But nothing says I have a huge cock then rolling down your window while driving past a 12 year old kid on merrick road, and screaming something that most of the time isn't even a word.

You'll need a huge dick to have sex in this town, cause girls here...lets just say theres alot of room. Another thing you'll love about Massapequa is the AIDS!!! Gotta love them AIDS!!! We are number one in the U.S.! YEAH!!! MASSAPEQUA'S #1!!!
"Lets not eat at the Massapequa diner, we might catch the AIDS."

"Bra my dick is SOOOOO HUGEEEEEE. Want to see?"

"I'm not gay"

"Bra"

"Ya Bra why does my ass hurt Bra"

"Bra. This Saturday, i'm drinking Jack Dainels, then I'm gonna drink..."

"I suck dick for cash"
by K-Stro August 24, 2006
 
1.
A relatively large Long Island town located nicely between Amityville and Seaford; Comprised of Massapequa, Massapequa Park, North Massapequa, and probably every other compass direction.
Massapequa is notoriously known for its vast population of Jews and Italians, as well as for its ambiguous school district. The wacky and wonderful District 23 is just marvelous at first glance, but only a true Massapequan knowns what really dwells within the depths of the shadows.
Citizens associate the LIRR tracks with the 'good' and 'bad' sides of this town - those who live South of the tracks are generally wealthy and can't be bothered with the poor kids who live North of the tracks. Of course, this is all quite stereotypical.
Where there's a mall, there's a huge pile of teenage girls flocking to it. Most of them are sluts. Sunrise Mall, one of the most repulsive malls in Long Island, is home to stores that only seem to appeal to a certain ethnic background. Of course, that doesn't bother most of Massapequa, being as the trend these days is to walk around pretending as though you are of a different race. Other social trends include emo-ism, preppy-ism, wiggerish-ism, and punky-ism.
If slutty girls, posers, crap malls, nasty stereotypes, unfaithful book-burning schools and houses that price $400,000 + are for you, then come on down to Massapequa!

Also see slut, wigger, poser, soccer mom, and marsupial.

P.S - The next time you wanna add a definition to Massapequa, click 'add definition,' not 're-define,' you turds - you totally wiped out my last attempt at defining this Hell hole =)
"Hey, Bernice! Did you just see that pregnant girl in Starbucks? She must've only been about 12 years old!"
"Why, yes I did, Hector. She must be one of those Massapequa kids!"

or

"We live in Massapequa, so it's okay to burn brand new textbooks for our students! The district ordered the wrong ones, anyway, and we can afford to lose the money. No returns necessary, but we're probably going to get auditted again."
by Ha ha - I got your nose! February 18, 2005
 
2.
home of some of the best looking people in new york
wow massapequans are totally banging
by just another fine looking resident February 25, 2005
 
3.
massapequa is the best town in nassau
massapequa beter than all towns
by oot July 09, 2005
 
4.
every1 from massapequa is better than fdalers
Pequa just killed fdale
by oot March 20, 2005
 
5.
Massapequa is a quaint town located on the south shore of Nassau County, Long Island, NY. It is considered by many to be the crown jewel of the Riviera of Long Island. Massapequa 'proper' includes: Massapequa hamlet, The village of Massapequa Park, North Massapequa and East Massapequa.

The Massapequa area is known for its well-kept homes, various amenities and large concentration of mid-to-upper middle class families.

From the tree-lined streets to the well-kept homes to the plethora of fine dining, waterfront homes, private beaches and shopping available, best schools on LI and beautiful parks, it is truly one of the nicest areas to live on Long Island. Massapequa has some of the best Schools in the entire country.

Birch Lane & East Lake Elementary are in the top 1 percentile in the state of NY.

Other prestigious blue-ribbon quality schools in the Massapequa Union Free School District #23 include:

Fairfield

Lockhart

Mckenna

Unqua

Berner Middle School

Ames

Massapequa High School

These schools excel athletically and academically. Massapequa SD is known as the powerhouse district on LI when it comes to all sports. And equally excels Academically.
Massapequa is the crown jewel of Long Island.

Farmingdale will never be as great as Massapequa, sorry Dalers.
by rivvv January 16, 2011
 
6.
A large town set right in the middle of the south shore on Long Island. True Massapeqians know that south of Merrick Rd. is where it's at. Home of the infamous All American Burger where MHS kids get there daily fix. And of course we can't forget the beautiful waterfront homes and awesome private beaches. To sum it up: Massapequa, the OC of Long Island. The place where the beach scene meets the suburbs. A town that sets standards, a place that knows where it's at!
We are heading out to Long Island today, maybe do some tubing, tanning...u know Massapequa style.
by MHS CHIEF March 03, 2005
 
7.
A big rich town where the soccer mom's will ask the Mafia to whack the other team. for everything else look at the first definition, it's perfect
My daughter is on the Massapequa soccer team and she is the best ever!
by Jim March 23, 2005