2.) Marlboro Red Jr... Life's short, smoke up, kiddos.
Clerk: You look kinda young, lemme get some ID.
Kid: I meant mediums, sorry.
Clerk: Oh aight, that'll be $8.50.
Inner thought: Finally, a store that sells smokes.
Me: Really, you only got two types of cigarettes?
Clerk: Yeah? You want Camel lights or Marlboro mediums?
Me: Uhh... the mediums... What are you, retarded?
Clerk: Excuse me? This is a fine wine store you know.
Me: Look. I don't care if your gay, just gimme da smokes.
Marlboro tricks you with a pretty box and a buy one get one. They never tell you that it comes with a fecal aftertaste and nausea.