For any pimply, pasty nerd thats too chickenshit to go get the mail outside because the deadly solar rays reflected by the moon will burn their skin like dried straw, they look to the Great Overlord Maddox as their guidance.
According to the teachings of the Great Maddox:
1. All computer nerds love Tabasco Sauce, because subjecting your tastebuds to a food condiment that'll singe the fuck out of your tastebuds is the best way to prove that your too fucking macho for your less macho peers. The testosterone increase from the burning pain will give you the balls you need to log back on IRC chat and give your online opponents a sound verbal thrashing, perhaps causing your nerdy rival to shoot himself in front of his webcam.
2. All computer nerds must routinely beat their women to reaffirm that they are the head of the house, and her main man. Doesn't really apply though, because computer nerds will remain virgins forever.
3. All computer nerds do what they want and feel. If a nerd does not want to go outside to Gold's Gym to do some bench presses or run on the treadmill, they don't have to! If a nerd doesn't want to lose weight, and just keep packing on some more weight from hot pockets, Pocky brand wood sticks, and root beer, he doesn't have to!
Or you can just perceive Maddox's Best Page In The Universe as very clever satire of common misconceptions of manliness and machoism.
Maddox basically states that "men":
1. Are always insecure about their sexuality, and hates fags because of that.
2. Do stupid thinks to make people think they're really "men".
3. Engage in random acts of violence from testosterone poisoning.
4. Own an entire harem of expendable wives.
without him, they won their 5th superbowl title.
tommy maddox shit the bed!
Yea, it was funny as hell!!!111Lolz0r!!!!. I especially liked the part where he told the guy to fuck off. I didn't understand its implications, though.
- Oh come on now, could you pick an easier audience?
2.)"A self- proclaimed pirate."
- Lol, wtf is that about? Seriously, a pirate? Get an identity, you silly bastard. Do you hijack ocean going vessels and plunder them for booty or do you just download music illegally? Yeah...thats just sad.
3.)"A 30 year old man with a 12-16 year old following."
-you rock, Maddox!!!1 For realz!!1!1