If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Windows XP Air
You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.
When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Windows XP Air
You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.
When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
Sorry, this is the best analogy on the subject of linux, has been around for a long time, and is anonymous.
BTW, linux is the kernel, GNU/GPL software make up the rest of the OS and apps. GNU/Linux is the way lawyers will say it in court.
BTW, linux is the kernel, GNU/GPL software make up the rest of the OS and apps. GNU/Linux is the way lawyers will say it in court.
by danw December 22, 2003
by Tiado June 22, 2004
A kernel (NOT an operating system in and of itself) used to power the GNU operating system components. This makes up a relatively stable, free operating system known as GNU-Linux.
by NoOneSpecial January 12, 2004
GNU/Linux is about empowering users to a choice. Linux is a kernel (guts of an OS). GNU/Linux is the kernel with GNU tools to form a complete OS.
GNU is a software revolution that is open and free in every since of the word. The code (software) is open to anybody to download and/or modify as long as you share the modifications with others. This is an open concept like university research. Everybody benifeits from the colaboration of others. In a closed enviornment inovation and quality are stifiled.
GNU is a software revolution that is open and free in every since of the word. The code (software) is open to anybody to download and/or modify as long as you share the modifications with others. This is an open concept like university research. Everybody benifeits from the colaboration of others. In a closed enviornment inovation and quality are stifiled.
heep://www.urbandictionary.com uses Linux and very glad to see they know what they are doing by using php.
Live free or die!
Live free or die!
by chilaxin August 14, 2004
The Operating System that POWERS urbandictionary you assholes.
Go on to www.netcraft.com
Then look up "www.urbandictionary.com" on the web server search. I see SEVEN linux servers, and 2 netbsd/openbsd servers.
I was able to install Mandrake Linux on my computer without any help, BECAUSE I RTFM! Like when I first installed WINDOWS!!
All the people who said shit about linux either:
1) Heard about it from Microsoft
2) Heard about it from SCO
3) Heard about it from some anti-linux group.
4) Saw a friend use Slackware
5) Saw a friend use the terminal.
6) Tried using Slackware as their first distro.
Linux is a great computer for all uses except crashing on you.
Ubuntu, Suse, Mandrake, and MEPIS are great linux distros that offer excellent user friendliness WITH GRAPHICAL TOOLS. So you don't even HAVE TO USE THE FUCKING TERMINAL!!
Only thing you can't do is run Windows stuff, like WINDOWS AIM, and WINDOWS EXPLORER, so don't even try doing stupid ass stuff.
Go on to www.netcraft.com
Then look up "www.urbandictionary.com" on the web server search. I see SEVEN linux servers, and 2 netbsd/openbsd servers.
I was able to install Mandrake Linux on my computer without any help, BECAUSE I RTFM! Like when I first installed WINDOWS!!
All the people who said shit about linux either:
1) Heard about it from Microsoft
2) Heard about it from SCO
3) Heard about it from some anti-linux group.
4) Saw a friend use Slackware
5) Saw a friend use the terminal.
6) Tried using Slackware as their first distro.
Linux is a great computer for all uses except crashing on you.
Ubuntu, Suse, Mandrake, and MEPIS are great linux distros that offer excellent user friendliness WITH GRAPHICAL TOOLS. So you don't even HAVE TO USE THE FUCKING TERMINAL!!
Only thing you can't do is run Windows stuff, like WINDOWS AIM, and WINDOWS EXPLORER, so don't even try doing stupid ass stuff.
Dumbass:: Linux sucks because there's no aim client.
Me:: Dumbass, AIM FOR LINUX, GAIM, KOPETE, LICQ, and NAIM!
Me:: Dumbass, AIM FOR LINUX, GAIM, KOPETE, LICQ, and NAIM!
by tsphan December 3, 2004
by blue_nova* June 13, 2004
An OS that rarely crashes, runs on most hardware (yes, even that 486 you can get cheap from a blowout sale), and is the thing the Beast of Redmond (Microsoft) fears most. It's also the cheapest OS you'll ever buy.
by Derleth September 5, 2002