In ascending order of ignorance:

Computer Science Professor/Student:
"That cool computer thing I helped make."

Developer/Programmer:
"Heaven."

High-end user:
"The system I haven't rebooted for three years which automatically manages my entire life. Also my life configuration isn't forwards incompatible with Life Vista."

Low-end user:
"Not only does the (good) software I used to use on Windows come free with it, but when you get used to everything else (or configure it to your tastes) it's actually far better than Windows. I've switched."

No-Brainer:
"I can check my email, watch my DVDs and listen to my music without "Illegal Operations" or worrying about configuring my "firewall""

Beetle:
"What? Can I eat it?"

Windows advocate (who does not know what a file is without a cryptic three letter code at the end. How does MP3 stand for the third (audio) layer of the Motion Picture Expert Group's first codec?!):
"That pile of crap "recompile your kernel" thing where you have to type everything and my favourite 'Yet Another First Person Shooter Which Is Just Quake 3 With Different Guns' doesn't even work on it because a) It is obviously the OS developer's fault if third party software works on it or not and b) I haven't even been on transgaming.com. Now I'm going to go to as many public message posting systems as possible and contradict myself at least three times per sentence as I rave about how it doesn't even have graphics (which microsoft obviously invented), it doesn't have any software to stop my personal information from being sent to the developers which shouldn't happen anyway, you get all of these technical system options to choose without a decent option like just resetting anything you choose to give you a US keyboard when you reboot (after a nice BSOD) and all of it's graphics are a rip off of windows. Especially all of the stuff windows ripped off from Apple. It's even used on crap "Power PC" and "ARM" and stuff which is crap because windows can't use them."

Of course this neglects the people who use/d other systems (yes, there are alterantives to UNIX and windows!) who lie just above the middle and say things like "Wow, this has loads of really good features. Pretty much like my old OS." and "I think it's good, but it's pretty much like my current OS." Or the Mac users who lie above the beetles and say things like "Aaaagh! It gives me a choice!" and "Why the hell am I using this when my computer came with virtually identical MacOSX?"

Oh yeah, and I don't count "Blue, silver or green" as a customisable interface. 'Skins' were invented by people who thought their own OS looks crap. Oh wait, windows isn't your own, you cannot change or sell it!

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed h...

It's just an operating system folks, not a religion.

An overblown "Wal-Mart" OS written by programmers who lack the balls and social skills to walk their own dog. How many of these fucks actually own a house, anyway? Suppossed to be an alternative to Windows but is way overrated, has shit for features and a lousy, cryptic GUI. This is how fucked up Linux is: Novell bought SuSE. That's the kiss-of-death. Ask them what their installed base is? BTW...hackers prefer Windows only because it's more prevalent. If Linux's installed base hits decent numbers in maybe the next 20 years, that turdball OS will be picked apart like a dead dog in the desert.

An excellent operating system that is more stable than Microsoft's Windows. Good for server use, but not practical for the average (aka home or gamer) user since it isn't compatible with most programs.

Notably used by either people who do know what they're doing, or immature idiots who think they're "l337" because they spited "M$" out of money (and seemingly wrote 90% of the definitions on this word as well).

Pronunciation: LIH-nucks or LIE-nucks

1. A reimplementation of the UNIX operating system kernel, written by Linus Torvalds, and distributed for free on the Internet. Linux has acheived remarkable compatibility with UNIX, from the point of view of a programmer compiling his software from the source code. Software originally written for UNIX can usually be compiled to run on Linux with no modifications. Linux binaries cannot run on UNIX systems that don't have Linux compatibility on purpose. Linux can be made to run binaries from SCO OpenServer via the Intel Binary Compatibility Standard (IBCS).

Linux is more compatible with UNIX systems that descend from UNIX System V than it is with BSD systems such as FreeBSD.

2. The Linux kernel, bundled with application programs like those that come with UNIX. When these applications are products of the Free Software Foundation, the combination is called GNU/Linux (the G in GNU is pronounced).

When the kernel is combined with applications, the result is called a Linux "distribution." Some distributions are commercially sold and have their own brand names.

3. A registered trademark of Linus Torvalds.

4. A religion practiced largely on the USENET newsgroup comp.os.linux.advocacy. The primary ritual of Linux is arguing endlessly with one of two denominations of Linux practitioners: Linux advocates, and Windows advocates, over whether or not Linux is better than Microsoft Windows...

A computer operating system known primarily for its stability and its involvement with the Free Software and Open Source Software movements.

NOT AN OPERATING SYSTEM!!!!!!!!

Linux is a KERNEL, NOT AN OPERATING SYSTEM started by Linus Torvalds in 1991 at University of Helsinki in Finland. Linux was at first just a hobby for Linus. Linux is free software.

It just so happened that just when Linux was getting usable, GNU had everything it needed except a kernel. Thus, people started using Linux with GNU to make a completely free UNIX-like operating system called GNU/Linux.

Today Linux and GNU/Linux have come a long way from the early 1990's, although they're still mostly used by geeks.