0. she tells you, Lets just be friends
1. your probably not in shape, go the the gym
2. hang out with her, dont call her, let her call you. dont bring up at all how you feel when you do.
3. if she's with another guy, make friends with him. study him like a cavemen.
4. find a different girl, let her know your not desperate. get some and tell her about it. because most girls "guy friends" have to listen about their bs, you bs right back about your relationship to her.
5. when she relizes her bf is a dick and cheated on her, you tell her how much better you would of been if you had a chance.
6. break it off your ur current girl, and go for the girl of your dreams.
7. have crazy sex, and tell her that it could of been easier if she just gave u a chance the first time.
this wont happen over night, give it 3-6 months
For extra douchiness, she can send this as a facebook message rather than confront the guy on the phone or in person.
If she is the guy's coworker, every day that he goes to work and sees her will suck ASS.
Guy: oh. <awkward silence>
Girl: I truly hope we can still talk and hang out sometimes. Well, I gotta go; my favorite TV show is on. See ya!
1. "I want someone else"
2. "Why should I settle for some gay loser like you who will treat me like a princess when I could have a guy who will treat me like shit, cheat on me after getting me pregnant, and introduce me to all his friends as his personal sperm dumpster?"
3. Both of the above
Girl: Let's just be friends. I think you're probably gay anyway.
Jerkass guy: Hey bitch, want to let me snort cocaine off your ass after I have a three-way with you and your sister?
Girl: OH BABY, MARRY ME!!!
Guy: Alright, i'm okay with that.
*2 months later*
Friend: Have you heard from -- lately?
Guy: Dude we haven't talked since we broke up.
Friend: Didn't she say she wanted to stay friends?
Guy: I guess not, no one ever actually means that.