My dad will lawyerize my 8th grade sentence outline because it sounded like it came out of a Dr. Seuss book
by onaboringnite February 4, 2011
"My lawyer's lawyer said he can get my lawyer off so my lawyer should be in court for me."
"Your lawyer's lawyer? What the hell did you do?"
"Pissed on some Russian prostitutes, a little nepotism, raw dogged a porn star and lied about it, I am slumlord, used my political connections to profit personally, signed off on people using tax dollars to fund their personal trips, wrote down shit on some pieces of paper and forced others to live by it , tried to sue people who called me names after I verbally attacked them, I haven't paid taxes in 10 years, fired some asshole who kept trying to investigate me and my friends, grabbed a few random women by their pussies - hey they like it - , watched some teenage girls get undressed, sure as fuck am not renting my houses to black people, sold some fake diplomas to a few dumbasses, hired some undocumented pollocks in the 80's, rigged some gambling machines in my casinos, some jackasses claim I didn't pay them, a few fraudualant realestate deals, bought my own books with campaign dollars and kept the royalties, smuggles some models into the country so I could bang them - even married one of them, set up some tax dodging foundations, remember that Cuba embargo I bitch about that last jackass lifting - I totally violated it in the 90's, and I conspired with a government known to be an enemy of our country to influence federal elections. Nothing too bad, I don't know what they are bitching about."
"Your lawyer's lawyer? What the hell did you do?"
"Pissed on some Russian prostitutes, a little nepotism, raw dogged a porn star and lied about it, I am slumlord, used my political connections to profit personally, signed off on people using tax dollars to fund their personal trips, wrote down shit on some pieces of paper and forced others to live by it , tried to sue people who called me names after I verbally attacked them, I haven't paid taxes in 10 years, fired some asshole who kept trying to investigate me and my friends, grabbed a few random women by their pussies - hey they like it - , watched some teenage girls get undressed, sure as fuck am not renting my houses to black people, sold some fake diplomas to a few dumbasses, hired some undocumented pollocks in the 80's, rigged some gambling machines in my casinos, some jackasses claim I didn't pay them, a few fraudualant realestate deals, bought my own books with campaign dollars and kept the royalties, smuggles some models into the country so I could bang them - even married one of them, set up some tax dodging foundations, remember that Cuba embargo I bitch about that last jackass lifting - I totally violated it in the 90's, and I conspired with a government known to be an enemy of our country to influence federal elections. Nothing too bad, I don't know what they are bitching about."
by Nutzen YerMouf April 12, 2018
Barney: (To Ted) Do you have some puritanical hang up on prostitution? Dude, it’s the world’s oldest profession.
Marshall: You really think that’s true?
Barney: Oh yea, I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers, like, an extra fish for putting out.
Marshall: Ah ha, so the oldest profession would be fishermen. Kaboom! You’ve been lawyered!
Marshall: You really think that’s true?
Barney: Oh yea, I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers, like, an extra fish for putting out.
Marshall: Ah ha, so the oldest profession would be fishermen. Kaboom! You’ve been lawyered!
by KravenXY July 27, 2009
Someone who studies or practises Law, usually a member of the legal prfession as either a solicitor or barrister. very often the better lawyers are involved in fighting for Human Rights and Civil Liberties in courts and the academic kind often researches to find out what effects laws are having on real people.
Often insulted by people who don't know how hard work it is and how much the authorities and corporations would trample over their rights if lawyers and the law didn't exist.
Often insulted by people who don't know how hard work it is and how much the authorities and corporations would trample over their rights if lawyers and the law didn't exist.
"Look at that dead lawyer in Northern Ireland that was shot for supporting the wrong side, thank god there's one less of them!" - a stupid person
by Melchett May 1, 2004
TYRONE BIGGINS:Yeah that nigga's fucked. The judge aint' gonna take it easy on a nigga.
Alexander:He be needin a laywer.
TYRONE: Nigga, what?
A: You know, nigga! Lawyer be some white dude willing to pretend to be your friend 'n shit in front of the judge so you ain't look so bad.
TYRONE: Aw yeah, he be like "Look, Imma white guy, and I'm aksin nicely to take it easy on dis nigga"
"Lawyer Commercial*
Some lawyer sounding voice: Here at Wilson in Wilson we know how it be for a nigga. Haters don't think it be like it is, but it do. But we do. I'm Greg Wilson, and I'll be your white guy.
TYRONE: Da fuuu...?
Alexander:He be needin a laywer.
TYRONE: Nigga, what?
A: You know, nigga! Lawyer be some white dude willing to pretend to be your friend 'n shit in front of the judge so you ain't look so bad.
TYRONE: Aw yeah, he be like "Look, Imma white guy, and I'm aksin nicely to take it easy on dis nigga"
"Lawyer Commercial*
Some lawyer sounding voice: Here at Wilson in Wilson we know how it be for a nigga. Haters don't think it be like it is, but it do. But we do. I'm Greg Wilson, and I'll be your white guy.
TYRONE: Da fuuu...?
by the original tyrone biggins October 16, 2011
A student in the laws of a sovereign body. To become a lawyer one must study the basics of the law for a specified period than pass a difficult proficiency examination.
To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the
rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our
pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person
that has read the inside of the top of the box. I think one of the fun things
for them is to say, "objection." "Objection! Objection, your Honor."
Objection, of course, is the adult version of, "Fraid not." To which the judge
can say two things, he can say, "overruled" which is the adult version of "Fraid
so," or he could say, "sustained," which is the adult version of "Duh."
- Jerry Seinfeld
rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our
pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person
that has read the inside of the top of the box. I think one of the fun things
for them is to say, "objection." "Objection! Objection, your Honor."
Objection, of course, is the adult version of, "Fraid not." To which the judge
can say two things, he can say, "overruled" which is the adult version of "Fraid
so," or he could say, "sustained," which is the adult version of "Duh."
- Jerry Seinfeld
by Darth Nick January 4, 2005
by SquirrelBoyed September 25, 2010