Top Definition
Someone who studies or practises Law, usually a member of the legal prfession as either a solicitor or barrister. very often the better lawyers are involved in fighting for Human Rights and Civil Liberties in courts and the academic kind often researches to find out what effects laws are having on real people.

Often insulted by people who don't know how hard work it is and how much the authorities and corporations would trample over their rights if lawyers and the law didn't exist.
"Look at that dead lawyer in Northern Ireland that was shot for supporting the wrong side, thank god there's one less of them!" - a stupid person
by Melchett May 01, 2004
A person expert in the rules of government that give structure to a society. Often useful and a requirement of modern life. In the US the number of lawyers has proliferated beyond all reasonable need and they often collude to make work for each other (see: Congress). Have a bad reputation due to overly exhorbitant fees and a number of highly publicized cases where a lawyer does not serve his client properly.
My wife fell and broke her arm in the supermarket because they left a trap door open. I guess I'll need a lawyer.

Some lawyer befriended my grandmother and got her to change her will on her death bed cutting off the charities she was going to leave her estate to and leave it to him instead.
by Gunder January 26, 2007
A bloodsucking leech who thinks he's all that...all in all a fuckhead.
Peter Banning in the movie 'Hook' is a lawyer who even the Lost Boys hate.
by xtremestuff September 14, 2009
A scum-sucking lowlife, and the lowest form of life on planet Earth next to child molesters. A greedy, dishonest, self-righteous piece-of-crap that convinces you to file a meaningless lawsuit for his own profit. They have a God-given talent for turning common sense truth into a pile of lies and confusion by misleading juries into believeing their nonsensical malarchy.

Lawyers are the reason there is so much lawsuit abuse. They are the reason manufacturers put common sense labels on easy to use hair dryers that say FOR HAIR DRY USE ONLY. DO NOT USE OR INSERT/IN AROUND WATER. DOING SO MAY RESULT IN INJURY OR DEATH. They are the reason you can spill hot coffee on yourself and sue the restaurant for $10 million. They are the reason a burgler can get hurt invading your home and sue you for his injuries. They are the reason you can get into a car accident after drinking and driving and sue the car manufacturer for your injuries.

Ironically, many lawyers go on to become politicians.
Lawyers and child molesters are the lowest form of life.
by krock1dk February 19, 2008
The Enemy of Humanity with a weakness for money and other things they need to live, they hate their clients, white people, people in the German armed services, and they love people that can make them a quick buck or two.

Lawyers are indeed the Enemy of Humanity Destroy them with Pennies!! do do so throw the pennie at them and when the bend over to pick it up run over and steal it from them they turn to ash!
I went to meeet my lawyer one day I had a pennie in my pocket for protection, I walked into the monsters lair (offfice) and said " Hey think fast!" I threw the pennie at him and when he went to grab it I nicked it from him and watched as he turned to dust with a loud yell he said " Give me the pennie or so help me I willl sue you for 500 of them BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Isweat dropped at his decleariton then walked to his dest and started to pisss on the ashes.
by Fant Nagner (TF) September 16, 2009
about 99% of them are greedy and ignorant
the cause of a lot of societies problems
the cause of 100% of todays ridiculous law system and tolerance for the idiocity (liability,malpractice,suing,hate crimes all bullshit)
they dont realize or care that people make mistakes they just want half of your paycheck.
Person: Yea im considering on becoming a doctor
Person's Friend: cool, well i want to become a lawyer
Person: Have fun in Hell, lawyers suck
by thestoges8889 May 11, 2007
1) The person you call when you get caught by the Fiddies (5-0), pigs, or fuzz. Also can be used as a defense when they are asking you questions see Lawyer Up. Note- Its probably best not to play this card immediatly upon being pulled over.
2) a friend of a friend, or a cousin that really didnt go to law school but was arrested once for the same thing.
Ex 1)
Right violating Cop#1: "We are going to search your vehicle?"
Player#1: "Iz be wantin my lawyer first."
Right violating Cop#2: "Don't worry about that shit. Ill just tell the judge I smelled pot in the car and saw some smoke"

Ex 2)
Quick to judge, dont care if hes wrong Cop#1: "We are going to run you down to the station"
Player#2: "My lawyer said this shit aint illegal and yous all cant arrest me for it."
by Marius M August 25, 2006
Last career choice available to those with a serious brain injury
Father (to son): What happens if you ride your bike without a helmet?
Son: My head will hit the ground and my brains will fall out.
Father: And then what?
Son: I have to be a lawyer
Father: And we don't want that, do we?
Son (with horror): NNOOOOO!
by SkankyHo June 04, 2008
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