In the days of words losing their ferosity and power to upset it has been decided that a new word is needed as a step up from the former unmentionable, cunt. After an extensive survey the word that has been settled on is Lawrenson. This choice is inspired by the extreme unpopularity of the BBC football (soccer) pundit Mark Lawrenson.
"So young man why did you stamp on this former man's testicles until they were nought but a bloodied plup?"
"Well your honour he called me a 'Lawrenson', I simply had to defend my honour against such a slur."
"Indeed, well I've heard enough, I find in favour of the defendant on grounds of massive provocation, furthermore I rule that the prosecution should pay the defendant £5.20 enough to buy some shoe cleaner."
From the court transcript of the Ant Vs Dec trial of January 2008