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1.
The Law of Bad News states that "90% of the news you receive will be negative in nature". See Finagle's Law.
Jim: Damn, I just found out I'm failing out of school, and yesterday I was told that I have testicular cancer, I'm 12,000 in credit card cancer, and I was just found out my girlfriend's pregnant.

Bob: Er.... well, I'm here to let you know that I got her pregnant.

Jim: Damn you, Law of Bad News
by HermanoBluth June 10, 2010