When you have lava shits, you may experience some or all of the following:
1. A bad stomach ache.
2. Having chunky, liquid poop.
3. Said poop burns your asshole.
4. It all comes out at once, or takes forever.
5. It goes on all day.
John: Melissa, are you there?
-----no response from Melissa------
John: Melissa?! ANSWER ME PLEASE! I AM GOING TO DIE!
-----still no response-----
John killed himself, because he thought Melissa was ignoring him. When in reality, she had the lava shits and laid the phone down. John's life could have been saved, if Melissa wasn't so ashamed of having lava shit and just told him about it.
Moral of story: When you have lava shits, tell everyone.