|1.||Lanphier High School|
(Can also be spelled "Lan-fear", or "That fucking terrifying school you don't want to go to.")
A school located in Springfield, IL. Previous graduates include Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger. Students have actually been raped during school hours.
The Basketball Team receives a pistol with their Jersey and at football games, the teams watch the crowd fight.
Classes include, but are not limited to: how to avoid that kid throwing a grenade at you; why the hell am I here; how to gnaw your own leg off to escape from school; and Lanphier: a brief history of Hell's bastard son.
Mike: Hey man, I heard you converted to Catholicism.
James: It's worth it. I'd rather be at SHG for four years than go to Lanphier High School when I die.