(Can also be spelled "Lan-fear", or "That fucking terrifying school you don't want to go to.")

A school located in Springfield, IL. Previous graduates include Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger. Students have actually been raped during school hours.

The Basketball Team receives a pistol with their Jersey and at football games, the teams watch the crowd fight.

Classes include, but are not limited to: how to avoid that kid throwing a grenade at you; why the hell am I here; how to gnaw your own leg off to escape from school; and Lanphier: a brief history of Hell's bastard son.