The Admiral gives you permission to delegate other responsibilities. But just for reference at the other end of the ranking you've got Plank Walker (some one who's being all - "ooo i think i'll just have the one"- forget that! you'll walk the plank mate - with a six sambuca shooter) and of course the ever favourite Man Overboard (need i say any more?) To reach the crow's nest you must climb the laggin'
Just make sure, to record all the embarrassing memories in the Captain's LAG book!!
"boarding passes please"
"do you know i'm actually boarding the Admiral's boat tonight?!"
"gosh it's stormy weather tonight, i've had 11 pints"
"hlep! i'mm ddrownign!"
"first mate's passed out!"
etc etc etc
Physically interfaced with his Commodore 64 by means of an anal probe cum broadband link, Lagboat can only leave his Nan’s loft for a few hours at a time to attend ‘Wall matches before his rectal batteries are exhausted, although a Zinger Tower Meal from KFC can provide emergency power.