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1.
An alcoholic beverage consisting of brandy, burban, gin, vodka, tequila, and kahlúa.
Man we had the best koontz last night.
by Phinor February 04, 2011
 
2.
The act of ejaculation.
"I was banging this chick the other night, and she totally let me Koontz on her face!"
by The Trashman 2727 September 26, 2013
 
3.
A term meant for a person who is a well accomplished sniper in the marine corps. Their uncle was shot down in a helicopter. They speak 4 different languages-English, German, Russian, and bullshit. (primarily bullshit)
They are direct descendants of Adolf Hitler, a man who had no children. They are so dedicated to the bullshit they speak, they would gun down anyone who stood in their way. They know how to assemble a nuclear submarine blindfolded, yet cannot identify the location of a carburetor on a vehicle. To be a proper Koontz, you must have undergone extensive marine sniper training in Fort Bragg, Oklahoma. You say there is no Fort Bragg in Oklahoma? That's how top secret it is.

Koontzes have been shot in the chest multiple times with a 30 ought 6 rifle. You also own a .17 caliber rifle. A .44 magnum round tickles, yet when a dog jumps on your knee, you are crippled for at least a week.
To be a Koontz is to be a god.
Koontz tore down the Berlin Wall.
Koontz won World WarII. The bomb from the Enola Gay failed to drop, so Koontz carried the bomb in on his back, then detonated it, living to tell the tale.
by the asdf September 23, 2009
 
4.
A crippled big saggy man.
Scott is a koontz.
by Josh Hamilton21 November 22, 2011
 
5.
when a female or males gentials smell so bad u just wanna throw up....they have crusted infected dried cum n piss all over themsleves n what they ate is having a affexct on the odour of such departmet
"man i was eating out shelly n i almost koontz i mean that was dirty she had all yeast infection"
"johhny makes me koontz he tried to make me suck his shwang"
by australian pranker August 30, 2005