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1.
In South Africa, a klonkie is a somewhat (if the person saying it isnt a klonkie, that is) for a person who is "coloured" or of mixed race. Klonkies are some of the coolest people in South Africa, nay the earth; they're totally laid back and friendly and have their own language, a mixture of Afrikaans,English, and American gangster talk in which dey tawks sumfing laaik dis jou ken wat ek saying fir YO? Klonkie girls are also really hot (when they arent Meth addicts with no teeth that is) but they always have big scary Klonkie boyfriends who would fuck you up seven hundred different ways if they caught you looking at their girls the wrong way. Mostly found in the Western Cape in South Africa, especially the Cape Flats. There are also a lot of Klonkie stand up comedians
"Bru, check daardie Klonkie chicky, shes nice and nice huh?"
"Ja mate, but dont let her boy hear you say that- I dont want to have to pick up your pieces when he's done with you"
by Dr. Van Van Mojo June 29, 2007
 
2.
A fuckin' huge dick, taller than the eiffel tower and fatter than your mom
I took my klonkie and beat my bitch's face in after stabbed her with an owel bone
by Moose and toph January 10, 2005