It is situated along the rusted trolly ridden coastline of the county of Fife in the post apocalyptic wasteland of Scotland.
Local past times include heroin, alcoholism, pregnancy, begging and aggressive homophobia and racism, STD trading parties (or as the locals like to call it "goin oot clubbin lod" .
These valued traditions are fiercely defended by its core community, much in the same way 2 homeless men will fight to the death over a piss stained cardboard box.
For the most part the people of Kirkcaldy are contorted and inbred psychopaths who sound like pirates and smell of cigars and damp socks.
Perhaps the one thing that unites all of the people of Kirkcaldy is their utter disgust for Glenrothes. Which is the nearest town and can best be described as 'Kirkcaldy but with lot's of round-a-bouts'.
"This junkie harassed me for 20p at Kirkcaldy bus station."
"I went out clubbing in Kirkcaldy with my girlfriend. Some guy stuck his hand up her dress and called her a slut and punched her in the face. When I objected 2 men stinking of buckfast held me down while he cut off my arms with a machete, the bouncers did not intervene instead stood around laughing and selling drugs to 14 year old girls"
"My parents were planning on moving the family to Kirkcaldy, so I killed myself"
Guy 1 "look, Kirkcaldy is on fire"
Guy 2 "good"
Adam Smith 1723 - 1790
Robert Adam 1728 - 1792
Baillie Robert Philp 1751 - 1828
Dr. John Philip 1775 - 1851
Marjorie Fleming 1803 - 1811
Michael Nairn 1804 - 1858
John McDouall Stuart 1815 - 1866
Sir Sandford Fleming 1827 - 1915
Reformation figure Henry Balnaves (1512 - 1579)
Scottish Theologian George Gillespie (1613 - 1648)
Alexander Lang Elder was born in Kirkcaldy on the 18th April 1815, the second son of the merchant and ship-owner George Elder. Today 'Elders' is a multinational company
Ronald Munro-Ferguson (6 March 1860 – 30 March 1934)
Frederick Coutts CBE (September 21, 1899 – February 6, 1986)
Bertha Wilson (1923 - 2007)
David Steel (Baron Steel of Aikwood, KT, KBE, PC) (1938 - )
Jocky Wilson (1950 - ) Darts Champion, in 1982 and 1989.
Val McDermid, journalist and author (titles include: Wire in the Blood and Distant Echo)
Colin Cameron, born 23 October 1972, a professional footballer and Scottish internationalist.
Racing driver Peter Dumbreck was born 13 October 1973
Oliver Cromwell Ravenscraig Castle c1650
Daniel Defoe c1694
Thomas Carlyle 1816 - 1818
Hans Christian Andersen c1847
John Buchan, author of The 39 Steps 1875 - 1888.
Scottish painter Jack Vettriano was born 17 November 1951
Ewan McGregor studied drama at the college now called Adam Smith College as did The Proclaimers.
and A92 adjoins Dundee unfortunately....which has no class.
The Boy In The Train
The Boy in the Train
Whit wey does the engine say 'Toot-toot'?
Is it feart to gang in the tunnel?
Whit wey is the furnace no pit oot
When the rain gangs doon the funnel?
What'll I hae for my tea the nicht?
A herrin', or maybe a haddie?
Has Gran'ma gotten electric licht?
Is the next stop Kirkcaddy?
There's a hoodie-craw on yon turnip-raw!
An' seagulls! - sax or seeven.
I'll no fa' oot o' the windae, Maw,
Its sneckit, as sure as I'm leevin'.
We're into the tunnel! we're a' in the dark!
But dinna be frichtit, Daddy,
We'll sune be comin' to Beveridge Park,
And the next stop's Kirkcaddy!
Is yon the mune I see in the sky?
It's awfu' wee an' curly,
See! there's a coo and a cauf ootbye,
An' a lassie pu'in' a hurly!
He's chackit the tickets and gien them back,
Sae gie me my ain yin, Daddy.
Lift doon the bag frae the luggage rack,
For the next stop's Kirkcaddy!
There's a gey wheen boats at the harbour mou',
And eh! dae ya see the cruisers?
The cinnamon drop I was sookin' the noo
Has tummelt an' stuck tae ma troosers. . .
I'll sune be ringin' ma Gran'ma's bell,
She'll cry, 'Come ben, my laddie',
For I ken mysel' by the queer-like smell
That the next stop's Kirkcaddy!