| 1. | King's Academy | ||
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A small private school in the backwoods of Georgia where the kids are raised to be mindless Baptist automatons, there are a grand total of zero (0) male teachers, and half of the remaining female teachers are closet lesbians. By claiming that this school is a "college-prep" school, the teachers pile essays, presentations, projects, and deadlines on all grades. Uniforms are mandatory. Shirts must be tucked in at all times. Belts must be worn (plain black). Touching is not permitted, and hugs must be one-armed and less than three seconds long. The children attending this school will grow up stunted socially and unable to function in the real world. On the upside, they'll learn about important things like the difference between a Minet painting and a Monet one, which will certainly come in handy at multiple points in their life. Employer: "So, your diploma says that you graduated from the King's Academy?"
Applicant: "I know prime numbers." Employer: "I'm not quite sure how that will help you in this job--" Applicant: "Your shirt isn't tucked in. That'll get you a demerit." Employer: "We're going to look for someone else." Applicant: "I tried meth because I don't know what drugs are." |
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