Top Definition
1 • A small village in Northumberland, England.

2 • The area around Kielder village, which contains Kielder Forest, the largest man-made forest in Europe, and Kielder Water, a drinking water reservoir.
Kielder is noted as a tourist attraction spot despite being plagued with uncanny amounts of rain, small mosquito-like flies called midges (pron. mid-jees), poor road networks and complete lack of anywhere to buy cake for less than £2.

If you manage to see a blue sky whilst at Kielder you obviously ate one of the funny purple growths on the trunk of a pine tree and are hallucinating. It always rains, even in winter where the average temperature is 20ºF

You have three choices for entertainment: Look at things, sleep, or go home. Well technically four, but walking round a reservoir in the rain being eaten alive by midges usually only holds appeal for fishermen and those escaped from mental asylums.

On that note, there is a military base a few miles to the east. Many suspect the near-constant rainfall has something to do with secret testing, the remainder suspect that it is because Kielder borders Scotland.
by KielderWolf March 20, 2010

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