to enjoy ones sexual conquests only in ones head, and poorly attempt to fool others that these conquests are actually in reality
John: So, did you sleep with that dirtbag last night?
Chris: Erm, well, you know...(chuckle)
John: Well, did you?
Chris: Erm, well, yer, I spose so, well, erm...
John: Oh, dont be such a Kemp
by Ricardo Head March 21, 2008
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Cleveland Steamer Plush

The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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To power clean a (usually intoxicated) person, then split jerk them and throw them off the top of a houseboat into the water. Usually done as a punishment for poor or unruly behaviour (such as knocking drinks out of partiers' hands), for threatening to fight (and actually fighting) inanimate objects, and for sucking at drinking games. Also sometimes done because fuck you that's why.
"If Jaime knocks one more beer out of my hand, I'm going to kemp the shit out of him."

"If Riley doesn't stop talking about how great the Liberal Party is, I'm absolutely kemping his ass."
by aquaholic_anonymous July 23, 2013
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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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A pill form of amphetamine (speed) found in South East Asia. In Thailand, it is also called YaMa (horse pill) or YaBa (crazy pill).
The pill is usually placed in a gum foil paper that is made into a boat shape. Flame is applied to the foil paper to get rid of carbon and other unwanted chemicals. The user then uses adjusted lighter to apply heat under the foil paper, and suck in the smoke once the pill starts to melt via a small sized water bong called 'Jo'.
Kemp smells wonderful, just like vanilla and strawberry combined.
by Biosphere February 10, 2005
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One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

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A coagulation or Buildup of vaginal fluid that turns into a damp gelatinous state during intercourse and collects on the base of a man’s penis and balls.
I was fucking becky so long I had a significant amount of kemp on my nuts after we were done.
by greenMarine July 17, 2012
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Golden Shower Plush

He's warmer than you think.

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