8
Contrary to popular belief, Kansas is not the flattest state in the union (which happens to be Florida). Located in the extreme center of the US, Kansas is commonly associated with cows and/or wheat, but has little other claim to fame. Alot of people like to reference Kansas to the Wizard of Oz. Nobody is amused. We never have been.
It is believed that Kansans do not have paved roads or access to the internet, and are all married to thier cousins. Most Kansans have never lived on a farm. It is home to Johnson County, the Kansas equivalent to the 90210 where there are plenty of places to blow your money on designer purses and multi-million dollar mansions.
Most stay away from KCMO or the heart of KCK, where you have a 50% chance of death. But the Kansas side is the best (at least the streets run the correct way).
Kid 1: How can you be from Kansas?
Kid 2: Because I'm from Johnson County, idiot. We were ranked number three best county to live in. Read Forbes.

Kid 1: Woah wait, do you know what facebook is? do you have paved roads?
Kid 2: I'm sorry, let me pull out my John Deere onto I-435...

Todo has been dead for a long time. You are not amusing me with your idiotic attempts at a joke.
by theunmentioned October 04, 2008
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9
Term used to describe a flat chested woman, based on the fact that the state, Kansas, is flat.
Ray: Kansas, 3 o'clock!
Jake: Roger that.
by benormous April 17, 2006
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10
A state that is:

a.) Flat in the western half and hilly with valleys in the eastern half, especially in the Ozark region. (I live in Kansas and my town is in a valley, so ha.)

b.) Can be boring if you don't know the place. (Tractor tipping anyone?)

c.) Is not the home of Wizard the Oz, and no, we don't know where Toto is.

d.) Does have tornadoes, but I've never seen one. As we say in Kansas, if you don't like the weather now, it'll change, probably within ten minutes.

e.) Has Salina, a town that is in equal distance from New York as it is from Los Angeles (1,490 miles each way).

f.) Smallville and Metropolis do not exist in real life.
Person Y: I have to go to Kansas, and they don't electricity!

Person Z: Then ask the Wizard of Oz for some.
by Sunflowerscene February 23, 2009
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11
v.
1. A word describing the act of drinking alchoholic beverages.
2. Code word meaning "to get drunk"
A. Hey Eric, what are you doing tonight?
B. I feel like going to kansas tonight.
A. Sounds like a good idea. I'll buy the fuel.
by chase February 09, 2004
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12
Home to the Wichita State Shockers! Arguably the best mascot ever!
Curtis: "I went to Kansas last weekend."
Chase: "Isn't that where the Shockers are from?"
Curtis: "That's right Wichita State, aka Shock U."
Chase: "GIVE 'EM THE SHOCKER!"
by John Sandlin July 15, 2006
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13
Someone once told me the highest thing in Kansas is this one abnormally tall highway overpass, and I believe him.
You want it flat? We've got it flat here in Kansas!
by ijustlivehere January 16, 2006
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14
The state that removed Evolution from the science textbooks.

In recent years has became infamous for having a pro-life group kill an obstetrician who performed abortions.
Me: hey, did you hear about the pro-lifers in Kansas?

Friend: I know that tone, this is a set up for a joke.

Me: no, I swear. A bunch of pro-life psychos killed a doctor who performed abortions.

Friend: so much for being pro-life, huh?
by Potterfreak82 January 19, 2011
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