An untalented, overrated band consisting of Nick, Joe and Kevin Jonas who all claim to have 'purity rings' and be virgins, yet they still sell sex to little girls. They are under one of the tightest contracts that Disney has to offer, so they will continue to sell sex to little girls as long as they live.
OMGGGZZ I LUV ZE JONAS BROTHERS!!!1111 NICK IZZ MY FAVORITE!
by Velvette August 19, 2009
A group that has no future in their life. They have really bad songs, and they simultaneously go out with Miley Cyrus and other crap celebrities.
Hey, you know that band Jonas Brothers?
Yeah, why?
Coz they suck.
by Mr X is asleep. February 14, 2009
Scum of the scum of the music world. Untalented, overrated, and loved by millions of mindless teenage girls. Mostly famous for their looks. The killing blow to any respect I ever gave the music industry.

Most fans are between the ages of 8-14, have little to no individuality, and can't type worth shit. Extremely annoying.
"OMJ!!!! I luv da jonas brothers soooo much! <33333 Deys soooo talented!!!"

Please, shut up, you sound like a retard.
by The Lovely Miss Misery September 23, 2008
One of the worst bands in history. Their main fan base consists of 12-16 year old girls who only like them because of their "pretty boy" good looks, which is lucky for them, because without their looks they would never have become so successful because their music is pile of steaming shit.

Talentless and boring is the only way to describe the Jonas Brothers. They refuse to have sex before marriage, which they in their own words describe as "pretty awesome". Pretty awesome? Yeah i think you will find pal, that premarital sex is even more awesome. Grow some fucking balls you poncey twats.
Paul: Hey theres a Jonas Brothers concert on next week. Wanna go see it?

John: Fuck no, id rather go and see a band with actual talent.
by jonas brothers suck balls September 19, 2008
A Word that when you type in "Jonas Brother" in Urban Dictionary, you get a bunch of hate comments saying they are shitty. But if you search Joe Jonas you get a bunch of girly positive comments for some reason.
1. Joe Jonas 1124 up, 513 down

a member of the best band ever- Jonas Brothers

very manly, beautiful, funny, plays the tambourine
brother of Kevin, Frankie and Nick Jonas

1. Jonas Brothers 3883 up, 1774 down

A shitty, pop, rock band that makes it harder to apperecite good music today.
by Jonas?? August 02, 2009
Three guys (if you can even call them that) who for some reason have a shit load of fans even though they clearly do not possess any talent; you would realize this if you weren't retarded.
Their "music" (I almost threw up writing that) is supposedly directed at 8 to maybe 14 year olds, yet ALL THEIR FUCKING SONGS ARE ABOUT LOVE. No damned 10 year old knows what the hell it feels like to be in love. See a problem? Hopefully you do 'cause man, there's a LOT of them.
Random things I feel like ranting about:

1. They. Are. Not. Rock. Not now, not ever. If you think they are rock you should probably just drop dead now. Like, right now. Thanks.
2. ANYONE comparing JB to The Beatles should automatically just fall off the damned earth on to their own little planet of terrible music (JB, Miley Cyrus, all other Disney tools). It's best for everyone who actually know what real music is.
3. I see them EVERYWHERE I go. Which is indeed a horrible sight on account of I don't enjoy my eyes spazzing at the sight of them. And on that note...
4. THEY'RE SO FUCKING UGLY. Christ they look like deformed giraffes combined with dead raccoons (no offense to either specie).
5. It makes me laugh in a beyond retarded manner when the best insult fans can come up with is "YOUR JUST JEALOUS!!!!" ('Your' usually used instead of the correct 'you're' on account of their brains have melted to nothingness). The fuck is there to be jealous of? Sure I'm not famous, sure barely anyone knows my name, but I have more talent than they will ever have, thus, THEY should be jealous of ME. Biiitch.
6. Hopefully, if we are lucky enough, in a few months JB will dissapear without a trace. YAY FOR VANISHING
They have such shit lyrics! I'm sick of people saying that they're so meaningful and inspiring:
"I climb a tree outside her home.
To make sure she is alone.
She looks up and sees me there.
Still I can't help but stop and stare.
That's what I go to school for.
Even though it is a real bore.
You can call me crazy.
She is so amazing."
First of all, what the hell why are the Jonas Brothers stalkers? They sound like a creepy version of Dr.Seuss. Second, if a Jonas Brother climbed a tree outside my house to be creepy mother fucker I'd push him off and call the cops. Third, how are these lyrics meaningful? Well, I guess they COULD be meaningful.. to someone who's a bloody stalker and does this every night to some poor, poor soul.
& Yes, I searched up Jonas Brothers lyrics. Yes, I am downright ashamed. But it's better than knowing the lyrics! Gotta give me something for that.


ApparentStalkers CreepyMotherFuckers WhyDoPeopleLikeThisShit MusicIsGoingAllToHell I'dRatherBeAttackedByBulletAntsThanListenToThis
by IHadFunWithThis October 18, 2008
Kevin, Joe, and Nick Jonas were born in the hospital in Disneyworld, during the gay pride parade. They were born as triplets, however the last two were born a few years later. After her mother was done giving birth to Nick, she killed herself after realizing she wasted 5 years of her life in a hospital. Their father, knowing that he was an incompetent unemployed drunk, dropped them off at the nearest church.

The priest came to the church one day after his nightly visit to the gay strip bar. He found the three boys and brought them in. He decided he must name these "gifts from god". Coincidentally, he decided to name them Nick, Joe, and Kevin Jonas. The next few years, Nick, Kevin, and Joe had to beg on the street for money and food while the priest "helped out" at the young boys and girls club.

When Nick was old enough to speak, at age 5, he whined at local shops about his life and how hard it was. A music producer thought he had a nice whining voice. He asked him if he would sign a contract that would be a great financial gain to him. He agreed, and began recording whining with music in the background. For the next 7 years, his voice grew no deeper.

The record producer realized his mistake, and shipped Nick, along with his two older brothers, off to columbia. There, they were discovered by the national record company, Columbia Records. The three of them made a band under the name "Kracktor", and labeled themselves as brutal progressive black death power heavy metal/polka.

Nick could not do the death scream, however, and they had to change their music. They simplified it to 3 power chords played over, and over. Unfortunately, they weren't selling with Columbia. One day, while sitting by a hickory stump, the devil appeared and challenged them to a fiddle challenge.

"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too, and if you'll care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. You play a pretty good fiddle, but give the devil his due, I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul cos' I think I'm better than you." The devil said to them. Nick mindlessly accepted, before realizing he had no fiddle, or a soul for that matter.

The devil, realizing he won by default, brought them to his secret headquarters and sold them to his head company, Disney. Disney realized the potential in their looks towards premature mainstream zombies and threw the brothers in a few movies and marketed them on everything.

Today, the Jonas brothers live in hell, along with the devil and his disney army. They create mindless songs that get stuck in your head until you want to throw up.
"The Jonas Brothers are the worst thing to ever walk the earth. What a waste of space and skin."
by trust me, you dont want to kno August 21, 2008
The worst singers since Hannah Montana. Not only can they not sing their songs make no sense.
Jonas Brothers Band meeting, let's listen in.....

Joe:I love Hannah Montana!
Paul: Call me kevin!
Nick: I can't sing!
by mike is amazing like pie March 09, 2008

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