a talentless "band" consisting of three rediculously ugly, borderline homerotic brothers named paul, joe, and nick, who make millions a year by selling sex to preteen girls.

-Their fanbase consists of approximately 70 trillion 10-13 year-old girls who's parents won't let them listen to "explicit" songs and so have no idea what real music sounds like.

-In every song they say the word 'baby' about 50 times.

the only reason they haven't been arrested for being rampant pedophiles is because they wear "Purity rings" and say that they can't have sex until they're married. Thus, they are allowed to rape the ears
of trillions of 12-year-olds.
Jonas Brothers: Oh baybay, we want to stalk you and watch you through your window. Check out our awesome purity rings.

brainwashed preteen: Oh Joe, i want to have your babies!

joe bros: come into our trailer and let us have ear sex with you.

brainwashed preteen: Oh god, yes! Anything!
by beefjerky54621 March 26, 2009
n.- Really bad boy band founded sometime in 2007, no one knows the real date because no one cares. They make ridiculously stupid covers and songs. They may be kid safe, but when 99% of your fan base is girls 9-15, and you call yourself a "rock" band, then you must have severe head trauma and deserve to die. Because the Jonas Brothers and mainstream rap and hip hop and pop (mostly the JonASS brothers) clog the arteries of the music industry, there are very few good bands actually being heard about, (IE Alexisonfire, Moneen, The Blood Brothers.) Any of these bands have potential for a major label, but because these no talent asses, the JoHoes, are converting potential listeners, they will never get that shot.

Yes, I'm 16.
Yes, I'm a male.
No, not all of my music is emo, heavy metal, punk, etc. I listen to the Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, The Beach Boys, Led Zeppelin, Boston, Chicago... You get the point.

If you're reading this and like the Jonas Brothers, let these words seep into your brain before you start with your "OMG! THE JoNAs BRoThERs aRe AmAziNG!" Their cover of Hello Goodbye was horrible, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr must be angered by this cover.
The Jonas Brothers have no talent.
Jonas Brothers armies have to listen to some real music.
by KillerPineapple October 05, 2008
The quintessence of faggotry. Possible target for assassination. Worst music of all time which promotes stupidity.
Teacher:"Give me a sentence for quintessence Johny."

Johny:"The Jonas Brothers are the quintessence of faggotry."

Teacher:" Excellent! A+!"
by Manwithamilliondollars October 29, 2008
One of the many horrible things coming out of that corporate, brainwashing company, Disney Channel. Sickens me.

You can trust me, when I say I am WAYYYYY smarter than any crazy girl who obviously could NEVER get a boyfriend, therefore developing some idiotic celebrity crush on someone who you will NEVER meet.

Nick Jonas will never EVER marry you!
He will never KNOW YOUR NAME!
He will never read that fan-mail you spend your time writing!
AND EVEN IF HE DID HE WOULD HE WOULD CONSIDER YOU ANOTHER ANNOYING FAN!!!

My advice to any girl who has a crush on Jonas Brothers:
GET A REALITY CHECK!!! Why don't you start wearing a bra, buy some deodorant, and GET A BOYFRIEND!!!
(preferably one you've met, knows your name, and is actually attractive)

And I am a 12 year old girl, reading at a college level, math at a 10th grade level, and I have been going out with my boyfriend (13) for over a year.

And I would get beat up SOOO bad if I even MENTIONED them at school(trust me, it happened to someone else)

And yes, this school does have 15 year olds too.
Girl- OMG!!! Don't you LOVE the Jonas Brothers!?! They are SOOOO cute!!!

Me- Maybe you should have a crush on someone from the same state as you. Or at least one you've talked to.

Girl- Oh, who needs you? I'm gonna listen to my new CD.

Me- OW!!! MY EARS! MAKE IT STOP!!!
by Angelicawalker123 August 04, 2008
A queer ass band with a bunch of gay fags in it that girls adore because they think they are the shit when the are not...they suck
Girl 1: OMGGGZZZZ DID YOU SEE THE JONAS BROTHERS LAST NIGHT?!?!?

Girl 2: OMG YA HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED IT!?!?

Guy: Fuck them they suck ass!
by Nibzore February 02, 2009
A Christian pop/rock band that consists of three brothers. That's pretty much it...

I first found this band a few years ago on some Nickelodeon commercial for a Zoey 101 movie that featured one of their songs. The song itself only appeared in the movie for a few seconds on an amplifier.

A few years later, these brothers became the biggest phenomenon since the fucking Beatles. They're rather similar to the Beatles due to the fact that they have legions of teenage fangirls that desperately want to have sexual intercourse with them, even though they're Evangelicals and won't fuck until they get married.

Musically, they're very different from the Beatles. They're basically a cross between Fall Out Boy and Hanson. Many of their songs are embarrassingly catchy, and this is coming from a guy who also listens to Cannibal Corpse. Their lyrics seem a bit immature and family friendly, but if you listen to "Burnin' Up" closely, you can sense a hint of sexual desire.

So why all the hate? I'm starting to think the only reason people hate them is because they're associated with Disney and all they want to do is brainwash kids. Or it might have something to do with their squeaky, high-pitched voices. What they need to do is get the fuck away from Disney and Inject some testosterone into their bodies. Then I think they'd get more respect.
The Jonas Brothers are Nick Jonas, Paul "Kevin" Jonas, and Joe Jonas
by Jeebus Cripes February 01, 2009
A band that teenage and preteen girls all over the world are obsessing over for some strange reason that I can't even begin to fathom. Possibly it's because they (the young girls) are having this weird hallucination of them being hot, which is absolutely crazy. That's definitely the only reason, unless they look up at them because they wish their boyfriends had that kind of skill in dumping them (NOT). Because the idea that anyone could even like their music just the tiniest bit is a thought that my entire mind repels against.

Trust me, I know about this, I am one of the few teens who haven't been caught up in this massive brainwashing. Save yourself before you are too!!!!!!
(Jonas Brothers come on radio)
Fangirl One: OMGOMGOMG it's the jonas brothers!!! nick is so hot!!!! yay!!!!!!
Sane person: ahhhhhH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my ears are in torture!!
(Fangirls turn it up)
Fangirl Two: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!??!?! The jobros are amazing, talented young boys!! and OMG JOE IS SO HOT!!!!!
Sane person: HELP!!!
(Sane person attempts to change station; fangirls turn on him with knives)
Fangirl One: And Nick is so hot!!!!
Fangirl Two: Joe only broke up with Taylor so he could go out with ME!!!
Sane person: *gurgle*
by onlysaneonearoundhereanymore February 15, 2009
1. the worst musicians ever to hit planet earth.

2. basically put, they repeat the same shitty guitar riff and sing in their nasal voices the most fucking nonsense lyrics ever to come out of a fudge packers mouth.
hannah montana is almost as bad as the jonas brothers.
by SHUTYOURMOUTHANDOPENYOURMIND October 19, 2008

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