a talentless "band" consisting of three rediculously ugly, borderline homerotic brothers named paul, joe, and nick, who make millions a year by selling sex to preteen girls.

-Their fanbase consists of approximately 70 trillion 10-13 year-old girls who's parents won't let them listen to "explicit" songs and so have no idea what real music sounds like.

-In every song they say the word 'baby' about 50 times.

the only reason they haven't been arrested for being rampant pedophiles is because they wear "Purity rings" and say that they can't have sex until they're married. Thus, they are allowed to rape the ears
of trillions of 12-year-olds.
Jonas Brothers: Oh baybay, we want to stalk you and watch you through your window. Check out our awesome purity rings.

brainwashed preteen: Oh Joe, i want to have your babies!

joe bros: come into our trailer and let us have ear sex with you.

brainwashed preteen: Oh god, yes! Anything!
by beefjerky54621 March 26, 2009
A crap, overated band. They are only famous for being on the Disney channel all the time, and no, I don't watch Disney Channel, my little 7 YEAR OLD sister does, and I know some of their songs because my sister likes them. They started off as an okayish Christian band but are now a pathetic pop band that sing off-key, the oldest one must be about 18 and his voice is STILL developing and he sings like an 11 year old. All of there songs are about Looovvveeee and girls. It doesn't take much talent to write 15 songs about girls. Oh, and they've coppied about 3 of their songs from Busted.

They also call themselves 'Rockstars' when their music is bubblegum pop.

Please understand that not ALL preteens like them, I've hated them since I heared them on Disney Channel at 11...

Person with decent taste in music: Fuck off, go listen to real music.

Jonas Brothers:Uh Uhhh WoahG irl I wanna kiss you Oh Yeahhhh ohh baby you tell me that you love meeee yeaahhh ohhh uh ohhhh Ohh Uh-Uh *chokes*
by .Sara=] February 26, 2008
An adjective used to describe a male who is a total pussy.
"Dude, look at Scott over there."
"What a fucking Jonas Brother."
by TimPestilence July 25, 2009
One of the most terrible bands of our time. Never compare them to other acclaimed bands like Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Cheap Trick, U2, etc. If annoying fangirls compared them to any to the bands mentioned above, they all must be joking.
Fangirl: The Jonas Brothers reminded me of Cheap Trick because of their gutar solos.

by Tarrank October 31, 2009
A really overrated mainstream.. Ah screw it, they just suck so much, they dont need a definition. they suck, period. they dont have talent, the guitarists suck, the drummer sucks, and the trio is gay, they have threesomes every Saturday. They just pretend to like "hot girls", but they're really gay. That loser whos dating Selena Gomez is a closet case, obviously.

Majority of Jonas fans are 8 - 13 year old girls who think if something is popular, it's good. and they also think that if a band's members are ugly, they suck.

The fans are stupid, and are usually bashed by Guns N' Roses fans. They tend to hate on us and say things like Slash being gay and Axl Rose being ugly and that they suck cause they're old, but in reality: they do suck. NOW. They rocked hard in the late 80s early 90s but not anymore.

They also hate anything that is not of 2007, and when comparing Beatles to JB, they say Beatles are a bunch of old dead people from the 1930s (someone actually said this) and to old rock fans, they tell us "Get with the times." No, I dont wanna get with the times when most music of "the times" is shit.

average jonas fan: OMFG THE JONAS BROTHERS? THE ARE SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like nick is the absolute hottest LULZ. he's a good christian boy. he would never go out with that skank Miley. OMFG hold on!!! they're song just came on disney radio!!!! LMAO. OMFG

*actual quote, im not even kiddin*
by jermomsucksmydick August 05, 2008
Three guys (if you can even call them that) who for some reason have a shit load of fans even though they clearly do not possess any talent; you would realize this if you weren't retarded.
Their "music" (I almost threw up writing that) is supposedly directed at 8 to maybe 14 year olds, yet ALL THEIR FUCKING SONGS ARE ABOUT LOVE. No damned 10 year old knows what the hell it feels like to be in love. See a problem? Hopefully you do 'cause man, there's a LOT of them.
Random things I feel like ranting about:

1. They. Are. Not. Rock. Not now, not ever. If you think they are rock you should probably just drop dead now. Like, right now. Thanks.
2. ANYONE comparing JB to The Beatles should automatically just fall off the damned earth on to their own little planet of terrible music (JB, Miley Cyrus, all other Disney tools). It's best for everyone who actually know what real music is.
3. I see them EVERYWHERE I go. Which is indeed a horrible sight on account of I don't enjoy my eyes spazzing at the sight of them. And on that note...
4. THEY'RE SO FUCKING UGLY. Christ they look like deformed giraffes combined with dead raccoons (no offense to either specie).
5. It makes me laugh in a beyond retarded manner when the best insult fans can come up with is "YOUR JUST JEALOUS!!!!" ('Your' usually used instead of the correct 'you're' on account of their brains have melted to nothingness). The fuck is there to be jealous of? Sure I'm not famous, sure barely anyone knows my name, but I have more talent than they will ever have, thus, THEY should be jealous of ME. Biiitch.
6. Hopefully, if we are lucky enough, in a few months JB will dissapear without a trace. Now that, would be AWESOME.

Yea that was my rant.
They have such shit lyrics. I'm sick of people saying that they're so meaningful and inspiring:
"I climb a tree outside her home.
To make sure she is alone.
She looks up and sees me there.
Still I can't help but stop and stare.
That's what I go to school for.
Even though it is a real bore.
You can call me crazy.
She is so amazing."

First of all, what the hell why are the Jonas Brothers stalkers? They sound like a creepy version of Dr.Seuss. Second, if a Jonas Brother climbed a tree outside my house to be creepy mother fucker I'd push him off and call the cops. Third, how are these lyrics meaningful? Well, I guess they COULD be meaningful.. to someone who's a bloody stalker and does this every night to some poor, poor soul.
& Yes, I searched up Jonas Brothers lyrics. Yes, I am downright ashamed. But it's better than knowing the lyrics! Gotta give me something for that.
by RAHHHHHH March 12, 2009
Is the worst insult ever, worst ''music'' worst everything.
To suck, stink.
Girl1: Slut!!
Girl2: Jonas Brothers!!
Girl1: *gasp* *slap*
by Auroraa May 31, 2008
One of the four members of the Jonas Brothers "music" band. As sellouts, they have absolutely no talent and only appeal to 9-15 year old girls.
12 Year old girl;
1. OmG! i LoVe thE JonAs BroThErs!!! TheY'Re SooOO HaWt!!

Aboutanyone else;
1. see's jonas brothers on tv: Fuck, wheres the remote???

2. Bob: So when do you think the Jonas brothers start making REAL music?
Jerry: They cant, they dont have any talent.
by Earthling 12345476586646876798 February 28, 2009

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