Kevin, Joe, and Nick Jonas were born in the hospital in Disneyworld, during the gay pride parade. They were born as triplets, however the last two were born a few years later. After her mother was done giving birth to Nick, she killed herself after realizing she wasted 5 years of her life in a hospital. Their father, knowing that he was an incompetent unemployed drunk, dropped them off at the nearest church.

The priest came to the church one day after his nightly visit to the gay strip bar. He found the three boys and brought them in. He decided he must name these "gifts from god". Coincidentally, he decided to name them Nick, Joe, and Kevin Jonas. The next few years, Nick, Kevin, and Joe had to beg on the street for money and food while the priest "helped out" at the young boys and girls club.

When Nick was old enough to speak, at age 5, he whined at local shops about his life and how hard it was. A music producer thought he had a nice whining voice. He asked him if he would sign a contract that would be a great financial gain to him. He agreed, and began recording whining with music in the background. For the next 7 years, his voice grew no deeper.

The record producer realized his mistake, and shipped Nick, along with his two older brothers, off to columbia. There, they were discovered by the national record company, Columbia Records. The three of them made a band under the name "Kracktor", and labeled themselves as brutal progressive black death power heavy metal/polka.

Nick could not do the death scream, however, and they had to change their music. They simplified it to 3 power chords played over, and over. Unfortunately, they weren't selling with Columbia. One day, while sitting by a hickory stump, the devil appeared and challenged them to a fiddle challenge.

"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too, and if you'll care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. You play a pretty good fiddle, but give the devil his due, I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul cos' I think I'm better than you." The devil said to them. Nick mindlessly accepted, before realizing he had no fiddle, or a soul for that matter.

The devil, realizing he won by default, brought them to his secret headquarters and sold them to his head company, Disney. Disney realized the potential in their looks towards premature mainstream zombies and threw the brothers in a few movies and marketed them on everything.

Today, the Jonas brothers live in hell, along with the devil and his disney army. They create mindless songs that get stuck in your head until you want to throw up.
"The Jonas Brothers are the worst thing to ever walk the earth. What a waste of space and skin."
by trust me, you dont want to kno August 21, 2008
A gay ass group of 3 homos who belong in the genre of Disney Shit. They sing like they wieners are being twisted at the same time, and they wear homo skinny jeans and low cut shirts. Most girls who are fans dont understand what true music is, and they scream everytime they see them.
Angela:y dnt u lik the jonas brothers?? Joe is soo cute!!
Alex:Because they have no talent, and they look like fags. What the fuck happened to Mickey Mouse? Now all we have is Hannah Montana, and those homos.
by MegaPickle March 14, 2009
(n.) A homosexual band from Wyckoff (wha-k-off) New Jersey; used to brainwash teenage girls; made famous from a Christain rock radio station

they also like to lipsync music on-stage and let Disney Inc. take money from little girls (or their rich parents; in the case thier spoiled)

Related Entries: "OJD" - Obsessive Jonas Disorder - a fake disease that millions of teenage Jonas Brothers Fans claim to have; another lame creation of Disney Inc.
Straight Man 1: Dude, have you seen that group of gay men called the Jonas Brothers?

Faggot 1: Yea man, they're soooo cool.

(Straight man 1 punches Faggot 1 in the face and walks away.)


Pleading Mother 1: Oh doctor, my daughter claims to suffer from OJD !

Doctor 1: Is this true little Sally?

Little Sally: Yes doctor! I'm sick with love!

Doctor 1: There's only one cure to this, simply pay me $100 to go take out those 3 bastards.

Pleading Mother 1: Oh here! Anything to end this !
by Urb4nD1ct10n4ry; Editor July 10, 2008
A trio of homosexuals that create simple, bland melodies that are extremely popular among the mainstream media for no apparent reason.
"hey who are those fags from disney channel that make those shitty songs?"

"Oh, you mean the Jonas Brothers?"
by KEEPitREEL March 18, 2009
A Group Of 3 Queers Who Have No Life And Suck Eggs. They Cant Sing And I Hate Them.
Sad JB Fan - Like OMG I Love The Jonas Brothers They're So Fitt!!

Get A Life They Suck!
by MekaMurderScene February 15, 2009
An incredibly shit band who try to fit in to the 'rock' genre, alas, to no success. They attract taste-deprived female teenagers who deserve to be shot. End of.
Taste-deprived female teenager: 'OnGG i LoVe ThE jOnAs bBrOtHeRS!!11!11111'

Me: Jonas Brothers suck hairy monkey balls. You can go hang yourself now.
by Slush Kamuri-Krip January 16, 2009
a talentless "band" consisting of three rediculously ugly, borderline homerotic brothers named paul, joe, and nick, who make millions a year by selling sex to preteen girls.

-Their fanbase consists of approximately 70 trillion 10-13 year-old girls who's parents won't let them listen to "explicit" songs and so have no idea what real music sounds like.

-In every song they say the word 'baby' about 50 times.

the only reason they haven't been arrested for being rampant pedophiles is because they wear "Purity rings" and say that they can't have sex until they're married. Thus, they are allowed to rape the ears
of trillions of 12-year-olds.
Jonas Brothers: Oh baybay, we want to stalk you and watch you through your window. Check out our awesome purity rings.

brainwashed preteen: Oh Joe, i want to have your babies!

joe bros: come into our trailer and let us have ear sex with you.

brainwashed preteen: Oh god, yes! Anything!
by beefjerky54621 March 26, 2009
The second-worst band in the world, for a reason that Naked Brothers Band already has that place.

I mean, seriously. They moan at every word on some songs*, some of their songs are offbeat", and they just plain plagiarize the good songs of yesterday^.

With a fan base of 7-16 year old females (averaging 15) they have a shitty fan base made up of screams of terror like the JBs are molesting them.
*Hold On
"Play My Music (It starts changing melody in the chorus)
^Kids of the Future (I mean, c'mon.) and their newest hit, Take on me (Dare to sing low when you haven't broken your voices yet?)

eugh..... Jonas Brothers
by Eugh..... October 19, 2008

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