| 183. | Jonas Brothers | ||
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A group of three brothers from New Jersey that write their own music and care about their fans. A group as popular as the Jonas Brothers, otherwise known as JB or JoBros, will have good and bad publicity. The band, consisting of Joe, 20, Nick, 17, and Kevin, 21, are often compared to the Beatles, a very popular band that shaped the world's history. The Jonas Brothers have released 4 ablums so far, It's About Time (2006), Jonas Brothers (2007), A Little Bit Longer (2008), and Lines, Vines and Trying Times (2009). Each album has at least one song that stands out to listeners. The song Mandy, featured on It's About Time, is about a close family friend who dated Joe. They are still great friends. The self-titled album has many songs that fans still listen to including S.O.S., Hold On, When You Look Me In The Eyes, and Year 3000. They wrote all of these except for Year 3000 which was also on It's About Time. Burning Up and A little Bit Longer are the two most mentioned on A little Bit Longer. Nick, the youngest who has diabetes, wrote the song ( shortened to ALBL by many) while in Canada filming Camp Rock 1. Paranoid and Much Better are only 2 of many great songs on Lines, Vines and Trying Times (shortened to LVATT by fans). The song Fly with Me was featured in the end credits of the movie "Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian" where JB did the voices of three cherub statues. Teenie: Oh Em Jay!!! I LOVE THE JONAS BROTHERS! Nick and Joe are the only good looking JoBros. Kevin is ugly. He shouldn't be in the band.
Real Fan doesn't say anything. Real Fan shoots the Teenie in the head and lets them bleed. |
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| 1. | Jonas Brothers | ||
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A shitty, pop, rock band that makes it harder to apperecite good music today. People who claim to be fans of this 'band' usually fall under the line of being female, 6-17 years old, disney channel/high school musical lover, types LiKeSs tHIssS!!! and is extremely annoying. Person 1: OMG I lOvE tHe JoNaS BRoThErs!! Did yYYou sEe tHem oN DiSnEy CHaNnelLL LaSt nIgHt!!!??
Person 2: No, shut up and go listen to real music instead of drooling over people who don't even write/play their own songs. |
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| 2. | Jonas Brothers | ||
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Little parasites that hang on the ends of pubic hairs around the testicles and deliver venomous bites that turn the scrotum to mush. Man #1: Ever get that feeling that you can't even feel your nuts?
Man #2: Um...no? Man #1: Oh. Um, is that a bad thing then? Man #2: I would think so. Man #1: (feels down pants) Holy shit! My nuts are jelly! Man #2: Seems like you've got the Jonas Brothers, my friend. Man #1: Oh my god, how could this happen? I was so careful. Man #2: Did you have sex with that Hannah Montana girl Miley Cyrus? Man #1: Shit! She told me she was safe! |
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| 3. | jonas brothers | ||
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1) Another word to describe cocksucking incestrous gay men.
2) A group of sodomizers. 3) Penis suckers. 4) Another word to describe men who insert objects twice the size of pineapples into their anus for pleasure and don't remove them for two weeks in order to stretch their butthole to its largest. 5) The lack of douche. 6) Tight pants wearing cross-dressers. 7) An anal yeast infection. Highly contagious. 8) Racist bastards who believe in nothing but the killing and deletion of African American and Jewish people. They use their music to hide secret messages from the public. 9) Descendants of KKK grandmasters. 10) A group of Jew-cunt faggot bitches that likes chode down their throats. 1) Nick Jonas: I feel like choking on cock today.
more...
Joe Jonas: Me too. Let's go find a cock to choke on. Other Jonas bitch: Let's Jonas Brothers! All: Yeah! 2) Hick: You're one of dem Jonas Brothers! We don't accept your kind around this here town! Jonas Brothers: Let's sodomize you, hillbilly! You're gonna take it! 3) Jonas Brothers: (sucking cock) Yummmmmm. Man: You guys are a bunch of Jonas Brothers. 4) Woman: Doesn't that hurt your anus from all that Jonas Brothering? Nick Jonas: Nope, it feels quite good to Jonas Brother. Joe Jonas: I need something seven times the size of a pineapple now! My anus is stretched so far if I fell on someone's head I'd literally swallow them into my body. 5) Man: Your vagina's starting to smell like the Jonas Brothers! Woman: I have a lack of douche, sorry. 6) Nick Jonas: (in dressing room) Are my pants too tight? Other Jonas Brother: We're the Jonas Brothers. Of course not! Joe Jonas: I think I lost my vagina in these pants. 7) Man: I have a burning sensation in my pants, doctor. Doctor: I'm sorry to report that you have a serious case of the Jonas Brothers. Man: How long do I have to live? Doctor: I'm afraid not long. I'd say around three hours. It's that bad. 8) Man: Shit! Black Man: Shit, it's the Jonas Brothers! RUN! Jonas Brothers: We're gonna get you, nigga! 9) Jonas Brothers: (on stage dressed as KKK Klansmen) I'm sure glad to be a Jonas Brother! My grandparents would be so proud of us! 10) ... |
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| 4. | Jonas Brothers | ||
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Someone once said that, given an infinite amount of time, a thousand monkeys with typewriters could write out the works of Shakespeare. As for the Jonas Brothers : One monkey in five minutes.
Jonas Bro 1: Hurry up monkey, we need a new song!
Monkey: HOOO HEEE hOOOO HEEE! Jonas Bro 2: Holy shit! That monkey's talented! Alright guys lets go record this. And another Jonas Brothers song is created, ready to receive the adoration of their devoted fans. |
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| 5. | Jonas Brothers | ||
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The worst thing that ever happened to music.
Just a bunch of religious-wackjob pretty boys in vests and dress-shirts with too much eyeliner. Someone: Oh my God, help, the Jonas Brothers are on the radio! 911!
Me: Here, this should help! *slides CD "Nevermind" by Nirvana into CD player* Someone: Ah, thank you! So much better. *sighs and begins to play air guitar to "Smells Like Teen Spirit"* |
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| 6. | Jonas Brothers | ||
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A band that 9-17 yr. old fangirls like because they're mildly good-looking (thanks to airbrush, photoshop, and liposuction) and sing about getting with girls (and possibly boys) with as many innuendos as Disney allows them.
For example, their song "Burnin' Up" refers to their inability to "get it up" and as a result get Prostatitis. Their other equally crappy song "I Am What I Am" refers to them all coming out of the closet while their song "The Muffin Man" discusses weather the muffin man could, in fact, be a female (with debatable herpes aka "blueberries"). By signing this band, Disney is promoting erectile dysfunction and hermaphrodites. There is possible "Jonascest" occurring within the band and anyone who listens to them is a racist. Fangirl: THEIR SONGS ARE ALL FOR ME!!!11! OMJ, THEY WANT ME! THEY WANT ME SO HARD!
Sensible person with music taste: STFU bitch, Jonas Brothers suck more dick than a homosexual during Mardi Gras. |
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| 7. | Jonas Brothers | ||
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ball suckers the jonas brothers are ball suckers
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