The most amazing band to ever walk this earth. The band consists of three brothers, Kevin (19), Joe (18), and Nick (15). They are Christains, whom all three wear purity rings. If you do research, they are the funniest, sweetest most gentlemenly friendly guys ever.
Most haters who are defining them as "shitty" and "fags" only hate them because their music is not about sex, money & violence. Their music has actual meaning to it with a great message.
They make tight jeans look sexy, despite what all you baggy jeaned, boxer-showing thugs think.
No, I'm not a little ten year old girl with their faces plastered all over her wall. No, I don't shout "hip hip, hurray" when High School Musical or Hannah Skanktana is on.
I'm almost sixteen, and I don't watch anything except MTV, where it has all those rap songs that disgrace girls by referring to us as bitches & pussy - and it makes me sick.
Girl #1: Oh my gawd, I'm going to a Jonas Brothers concert tonight! YAY!!!
Girl #2: Ugh, you bitch! Why didn't you get an extra ticket for me?
Girl #1: What the hell, you whore. I did!
Girl #2: OMG! You did! YAY I love you!
Thug #1: What hell yo. You bitches are getting all excited to see them mother fucking fags. Their jeans are so tight you can see their cock.
Girl #2: At least they have one!
Kristen: OMG Hayley. I made a shocking discovery today and I'm really pissed.
Kristen: The Jonas Brothers wear purity rings. Even though it turns me on, how am I supposed to fuck them?
Hayley: Rip that ring off and say "Woops, it fell down the drain."
A shitty, pop, rock band that makes it harder to apperecite good music today. People who claim to be fans of this 'band' usually fall under the line of being female, 6-17 years old, disney channel/high school musical lover, types LiKeSs tHIssS!!! and is extremely annoying.
Person 1: OMG I lOvE tHe JoNaS BRoThErs!! Did yYYou sEe tHem oN DiSnEy CHaNnelLL LaSt nIgHt!!!??
Person 2: No, shut up and go listen to real music instead of drooling over people who don't even write/play their own songs.
Little parasites that hang on the ends of pubic hairs around the testicles and deliver venomous bites that turn the scrotum to mush.
Man #1: Ever get that feeling that you can't even feel your nuts?
Man #2: Um...no?
Man #1: Oh. Um, is that a bad thing then?
Man #2: I would think so.
Man #1: (feels down pants) Holy shit! My nuts are jelly!
Man #2: Seems like you've got the Jonas Brothers, my friend.
Man #1: Oh my god, how could this happen? I was so careful.
Man #2: Did you have sex with that Hannah Montana
girl Miley Cyrus
Man #1: Shit! She told me she was safe!
1) Another word to describe cocksucking incestrous gay men.
2) A group of sodomizers.
3) Penis suckers.
4) Another word to describe men who insert objects twice the size of pineapples into their anus for pleasure and don't remove them for two weeks in order to stretch their butthole to its largest.
5) The lack of douche.
6) Tight pants wearing cross-dressers.
7) An anal yeast infection. Highly contagious.
8) Racist bastards who believe in nothing but the killing and deletion of African American and Jewish people. They use their music to hide secret messages from the public.
9) Descendants of KKK grandmasters.
10) A group of Jew-cunt faggot bitches that likes chode down their throats.
1) Nick Jonas: I feel like choking on cock today.
Joe Jonas: Me too. Let's go find a cock to choke on.
Other Jonas bitch: Let's Jonas Brothers!
2) Hick: You're one of dem Jonas Brothers! We don't accept your kind around this here town!
Jonas Brothers: Let's sodomize you, hillbilly! You're gonna take it!
3) Jonas Brothers: (sucking cock) Yummmmmm.
Man: You guys are a bunch of Jonas Brothers.
4) Woman: Doesn't that hurt your anus from all that Jonas Brothering?
Nick Jonas: Nope, it feels quite good to Jonas Brother.
Joe Jonas: I need something seven times the size of a pineapple now! My anus is stretched so far if I fell on someone's head I'd literally swallow them into my body.
5) Man: Your vagina's starting to smell like the Jonas Brothers!
Woman: I have a lack of douche, sorry.
6) Nick Jonas: (in dressing room) Are my pants too tight?
Other Jonas Brother: We're the Jonas Brothers. Of course not!
Joe Jonas: I think I lost my vagina in these pants.
7) Man: I have a burning sensation in my pants, doctor.
Doctor: I'm sorry to report that you have a serious case of the Jonas Brothers.
Man: How long do I have to live?
Doctor: I'm afraid not long. I'd say around three hours. It's that bad.
8) Man: Shit!
Black Man: Shit, it's the Jonas Brothers! RUN!
Jonas Brothers: We're gonna get you, nigga!
9) Jonas Brothers: (on stage dressed as KKK Klansmen) I'm sure glad to be a Jonas Brother! My grandparents would be so proud of us!
Someone once said that, given an infinite amount of time, a thousand monkeys with typewriters could write out the works of Shakespeare. As for the Jonas Brothers : One monkey in five minutes.
Jonas Bro 1: Hurry up monkey, we need a new song!
Monkey: HOOO HEEE hOOOO HEEE!
Jonas Bro 2: Holy shit! That monkey's talented! Alright guys lets go record this.
And another Jonas Brothers song is created, ready to receive the adoration of their devoted fans.
The worst thing that ever happened to music.
Just a bunch of religious-wackjob pretty boys in vests and dress-shirts with too much eyeliner.
Someone: Oh my God, help, the Jonas Brothers are on the radio! 911!
Me: Here, this should help! *slides CD "Nevermind" by Nirvana into CD player*
Someone: Ah, thank you! So much better. *sighs and begins to play air guitar to "Smells Like Teen Spirit"*
A band that 9-17 yr. old fangirls like because they're mildly good-looking (thanks to airbrush, photoshop, and liposuction) and sing about getting with girls (and possibly boys) with as many innuendos as Disney allows them.
For example, their song "Burnin' Up" refers to their inability to "get it up" and as a result get Prostatitis. Their other equally crappy song "I Am What I Am" refers to them all coming out of the closet while their song "The Muffin Man" discusses weather the muffin man could, in fact, be a female (with debatable herpes aka "blueberries").
By signing this band, Disney is promoting erectile dysfunction and hermaphrodites. There is possible "Jonascest" occurring within the band and anyone who listens to them is a racist.
Fangirl: THEIR SONGS ARE ALL FOR ME!!!11! OMJ, THEY WANT ME! THEY WANT ME SO HARD!
Sensible person with music taste: STFU bitch, Jonas Brothers suck more dick than a homosexual during Mardi Gras.
the jonas brothers are ball suckers