Unjolly tom was an unfunny boy, one day he came across a magically enchanted newt trapped inside a discarded condom wrapper, the newt called out to unjolly tom and said "Free me from this lubricated nightmare and I will grant you one wish" unjolly tom did as the newt asked and was granted one wish, he wished to be the funniest man alive,"by the Gods of Valalha I grant you this wish" said the newt and disapeared in a flash of lubricated smoke. And each year his humour would increase and he became known as Jolly tom, but the newt had decieved Jolly tom, for each year his humour increased so did his weight in some sort of comedy balloon. people were addicted to his humour, people would follow him home each night and he was all over the news, untill he took out a super injunction and the News of the Worlds was sued for tapping his phone, one day he decided it was enough, he would tell jokes no more. The next day the people became increasively aggressive and began rioting in London burning down buildings and stealing plasma screen tvs, now david camera didnt like this, so he signed a decree for Jolly Tom to be cut up, fried in a delious southern fried fashion and served to those addicted to his humour, but it seems Jolly Tom had the last laugh-he was sugar free.
"Now Jimmy, stop being such a Jolly Tom or the big bad prime minister will get you"