a fictitious car part that, when broken, can generate sympathy and possible cash from an unsuspecting parent.
"Mom, my the Johnson Bar on my VW broke and I need $50.00"

"I'm broke and need some money to replace the Johnson Bar on my car...can I borrow $50.00?
by Norcalgal January 03, 2013

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Top Definition
A lever that is either attached to the steering column or the dashboard of a semi-tractor within the drivers reach that controls only the application of the trailer brakes.
Since I own my own tractor and am always pulling a company trailer, I always use the Johnson Bar to apply the brakes so I will never have to pay for a brake job on my semi-tractor.
by The CLE Steamer May 11, 2009

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A dildo. Also daddle, Cantonese groin
"I'm not into those silly toys with ducks, beavers or the whole darn menagerie. Prefer to stick in a plain Johnson bar to get the good ole vibes"
by Van Dick the Smaller August 31, 2012

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A tool used by 'railroad engineers' (now archaic on modern locomotives and loading docks)

1) A Johnson Bar, aka "J"-bar, is a lever-dolly; (a wheeled prybar having an extended handle and a deep reverse-beveled nose-iron), which is used to jockey heavy apparatus into position.

2) A hand lever with several distinct positions and a positive clutch to hold the lever in the selected position. The positive clutch is typically activated with a spring-loaded squeeze handle on the lever so that only one hand is needed to release the clutch, move the lever, then reengage the clutch.

3) Sometimes used in a sexual context since a 'j bar' looks like...you know.

4) If used would be considered an archaic term except you can still purchase them in tool catalogs.
girl: Geez you really know what to do with that 'johnson bar'.

guy: It's is really hard when you have a name like 'Willie', 'John', 'Crapper', or 'Quisling'. Everyone makes a big joke out of it. Kind of like being a 'Li' from China or 'Smith' from the US. However, Archimedes said, "Give me a big enough lever, and I will move the world."
The US census says that the 20 most common names are: Smith 1.01%, Johnson 0.81%, Williams 0.70%, Jones 0.62%, Brown 0.62%, Davis 0.48%, Miller 0.42%, Wilson 0.34%, Moore 0.31%, 0. Taylor 0.31%, Anderson 0.31%, Thomas 0.31%, Jackson 0.31%, White 0.28%, Harris 0.28, Martin 0.27%, Thompson 0.27%, Garcia 0.25%, Martinez 0.23%, Robinson 0.23%, Clark 0.23%, Rodriguez 0.23%, Lewis 0.23%, Lee 0.22%, Walker 0.22% Hall 0.20%, Allen 0.20%, Young 0.19%, Hernandez 0.19%, and King 0.19%

girl: Damn, I know what you mean my name is Taylor Willamina Martinez-Johnson.
by thepiffler September 11, 2008

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