71
porn addict. loves watching anime kids shows. complete pervert.
John, are you watching porn again?!
by cl'er May 20, 2015
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72
The nicest guy you will ever meet. He is handsome and brave. He will protect you and take care of you. He can be witty and funny. When talking about certain subjects he can get a little fired up. He does not like large red headed women so stay away. He enjoys classical music, the symphony, the ballet, and playing guitar. He is a lover of fine wines.
Did you notice how positively John he is? Yes, I can't stop thinking about the Johnness of it all.
by geezelouise February 25, 2014
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73
A pencil neck young man who spends most of his days dwelling in a dim lit room where he smokes copius amounts of pot and angel dust with his girlfriend, he is a poor communicator and he doesnt go in sunlight, nor does he sleep any less than 16 hours a day
John is fried
by Narfwar March 08, 2016
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74
Someone, typically a man, who pays for any kind of sexual act because he can't get any from his woman or can't get a woman.
He became a John when his wife quit giving him blow jobs.
by Blinkdavis768 June 04, 2016
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75
sweet, funny, cute smile, nice brown hair, very confusing, will lead you on, will talk you for a week and randomly stop talking to you out of no where. a liar.
Don't go out with him, he is such a John.
by sweeeeethearrrrt November 21, 2010
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76
the weirdest most confusing person you will ever meet when he's talking he will just stop at any random time,he has very large penis ,has a friend whos name is anynomous who jacks off a lot. john is also a man whore,black hair never wears shoes, his mood changes easily,short,never matches,hairy arms, very sexy and other guys are jealous, oh yeah did i mention his big dick,and he can not describe anything worth a shit becaus he always says things like thingymabob an thingymajig, oh and he has a huge penis
dude 1: what was that huge crash and scream i heard

john:oh the thingymabob did that one thing at the thingymajig at that one time with those people
by njhn vissser June 13, 2011
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77
Most often spotted tending turtles or collecting mud. A John is super mysterious and, thus, everyone’s always curious. But a John often confuses simply because he’s always confused. Therefore, if you approach a John, walk slowly, it often takes a John longer to understand and comprehend seemingly simple things. Initially may seem like a jerk. Nevertheless, a John always means well, so don’t take his tourette-like exclamations personally.
Person 1: Why is that man selling mud?
Person 2: He’s a John.
Person 1: Ah, sad.
by xCrossroadsx November 24, 2010
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