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1.
To be "John Handcocked" is to have a man ejaculate into his hand - and with the semen still pooled in his hand - slap an individual across the face. The name derives from the man's proverbial "ink" which spouts from his "pen." He then claims what is rightfully his by marking his territory.

This is most appropriate at Ugly Sweater Christmas Parties, or when a prostitute gets out of line. Especially applicable to any girls that may own a California Tan boutique and hail from Appalachia.
Kristen: "Oh my god, you'll never believe what Paul did last night!"

Sarah: "What?"

Kristen: "He nutted in his hand and slapped me across the face with it!"

Sarah: "Oh fuck, Nathan has John Hancocked me all the time, it's not a big deal, he's just claiming what is his."
by Ugly Sweater December 10, 2010
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