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1.
The act of ejaculating into your own hand and punching the very unfortunate victim by surprise in the face, usually resulting in them being knocked unconscious. Can also be referred to as "the handfull haymaker, cum crippler, semen slap, or the brick bop."
Dude 1: "holy shit man, did u hear about jacob?"
Dude 2: "uh..no, what's the haps?"
Dude 1: "oh damn, last night he was makin a hot pocket when out of nowhere he gets jizz jacked, it was tight yo!"

Mom: "daaaannny! Did cocoa shit on the carpet agaaain?!"
Son: "yeah..but its totally fine now, that bitch ass mutt got jizz jacked!"
by whack_sauce19 January 28, 2010