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168.
Jew
Anyone who a gentile decides is Jewish is a Jew. It doesn't matter whether they practice Judaism or have never entered a synagogue. Since the birth of Christianity, being a Jew means to be personally responsible for the death of a rabbi named Joshua, better known through his name in Greek, Jesus Christ. The New Testament takes what was largely a political dispute with a renegade rabbi while Judea, a Roman province, was under military occupation and turns it into a blood libel with no expiration date. A Jew born today will be considered by the gentile world responsible for the death of Jesus. Since Jews have historically been persecuted dating from their dispersion by Rome in 70 AD and thereafter by the Christian world, they are understandably mistrusting of non-Jews, fiercely independent and have learned that education is the only commodity which is truly one's own in any event. Jews are characterized by an excess of pessimism, while they await the next Holocaust and a wicked sense of humor, best known as gallows humor. An example of which is provided below.
Lenny Bruce once said that all his life all he ever heard from gentiles is "The Jews killed Christ." Bruce said he never really believed it until, one year, he bought a house in Lake Ronkonkama, NY which is on Long Island. On the day he moved in, he went down to the basement to clean up. Behind an old bookcase he discovered a note. Bruce read it. It said, "I did it" and it was signed "Morty."
by Haman Jr. April 02, 2008
19 96
 
1.
jew
1. Someone who practices Judaism.

2. Derogatory term for someone tight with their money or someone not very generous.
1. Kyle from southpark is a Jew

2. You jewish bastard, lend me a cig!!
by matt November 13, 2003
12609 5392
 
2.
Jew
A group of people comprising 0.002% of the world's population yet drawing unproportional amount of media coverage (especially Israeli Jews).
The world is obsessed with Jews. Therefore, the world should get a life.
by sdhgdhdtjhdfjnmfdyjfry November 22, 2006
10696 5020
 
3.
The only people in the world that are simultaneously hated by both the extreme Left and the extreme Right.

Synonym: scapegoat
"The Jews killed Jesus!"

"The Jews control Hollywood!"

"The Jews caused 9/11!"

"The Jews oppress the Palestinians!"

"The Jews ran over my poodle!"
by Harvey Mama March 03, 2005
5057 1569
 
4.
Jew
A person of the jewish faith.
by Rabbi Dude November 04, 2003
7334 5057
 
5.
jew
A southern bastardization and contraction of the two words "did you".
Jack: "Hey Steve, jew fuck Stacy last night?"

Steve: "No, jew?"

Jack: "No."
by Carl Pickens March 20, 2007
3055 1377
 
6.
jew
Let's Clear up some of the Misconceptions in these postings.

A Jew is a person who's mother is Jewish. (Some streams of Judaism argue that Jewish patrimony can be acquired through the father as well).
Jews are not a race but an eclectic mix of different races, nationalities, and cultures; they are a truly multi-cultural and multi-ethnic people. However, within this mix, there are distinct ethnic groups such as the Ashkenazic and Sephardic Jews that make up the overwhelming majority of the Jewish People.
Most American Jews are of Ashkenazic origin -- usually originating from Eastern Europe or the former Soviet Union. Therefore, American Jews could largely be classified as an ethnic group, hence the characteristic stereotypes, although there are exceptions.
A Jew is not a person who practices Judaism, although most Jews do adhere to some form of Jewish practice or cultural tradition.
A Jew is not an Israeli and an Israeli is not a Jew. An Israeli is a citizen of the state of Israel. While most Israeli's are Jewish, there are also non-Jewish citizens of Israel.
A Jew is not automatically a citizen of the state of Israel. A Jew must apply for and be granted citizenship to the state just like everyone else, although most are awarded citizenship rather easily.
Larry King's parents were Ashkenazic Jews. Therefore, regardless of whether Larry King practices Judaism or not, Larry King is an Ashkenazic Jew.
Larry King is not an Israeli citizen.

by NAteshot March 05, 2006
5412 4038
 
7.
jew
1) someone who practises judaism

2) is also a culture/ethnicity, that is to say it has a certain sense of humour, certain type of food and music etc.

3) A person who Mel Gibson talks smack about after he has had too much to drink.
"Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world."
by Clubned August 02, 2006
3927 2612