Top Definition
1. An expression that means "oh my gosh" or "holy cow." Usually used when one party surprises another.

2. A unit of measurement on the tit scale. A rating system for people and things.
1. Steve: Jesus tits! Did you see the way Randy lost that poker tournament???


2. Shea: What would you consider that girl? Is she anti-tit or just tits?

Mike: She is definitly Jesus tits.
by Bus36 January 26, 2006

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expression of shock
"jesus tits, that womans got a big rack!"
by Anonymous February 10, 2003

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A exclamation of pain,joy,ect.
Jesus tits i stubbed my toe.
Jesus tits thats an awesome purse.
by Klaireabell October 08, 2007

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Expression similar to "what the fuck!" often used in poker tournaments and the whatnot
"Jesus tit, will you please pay attention and not be such a dickneck."
by Cunty Spice July 28, 2006

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An exclamation of anger or more properly amazement. The emphasis is usually placed on the word 'tits'.
"Jesus TITS!", George exclaimed upon coming out of the strip bar and seeing his new convertable filled with quick setting concrete.
by azzaze1o December 12, 2003

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generic exclamation of shock, disgust, disbelief, or awe (not necessarily originating from subjects related to christianity nor female anatomy); usually followed by a pronoun in practice
"jesus tits, man, how could you have forgotten the bottle opener...again!" or "jesus tits, dude, that thing missed my ear less than an inch!"
by gee-zus TITz April 30, 2003

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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(Idiom) Exclaimation. One step up from Jesus H Christ, but not quiote jesus fucking kike. The word tits is usually emphasised, while jesus may be elongated or contracted, depending on personal preference.
J'us TITS!


Jaysus tits!
by Kung-Fu Jesus May 05, 2004

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

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Your favorite word on a white mug.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

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