1. A word used to express anger. Avoid saying this in front of Jesus Freaks
, it will upset them.
2. Some guy stated in the Bible
. He supposedly died on a cross
and died for our sins. Now he's gonna save us all or something like that. Of course we all know this is absolutely retarded, after all, the only reference is a really big book.
1. Jesus Christ, why the hell is my wife doing another man in my bed??
2. All the Bible is, is a big book, ok?? Who wrote the book? God? Ok. Yeah. God wrote the Bible and then came down to earth and gave it to some guy so he could show it to everyone. YEAH RIGHT. You know what really happened? Some guy wrote all this bull so that he could make some money.
And how come even in the Bible, men have all the power? I though "Jesus" believed in equality for everyone!! Wtf?
Tell you what, when Jesus "Saves" you, I want you to come down here with him and show me. THEN I'll believe it. Thank you.
Prophecised before birth. Sent to earth to be a perfect sacrifice. Fufilled every prophecy. Son of man. Healed the sick. Fed thousands. Never sinned, yet suffered as if He did. Concieved of a virgin by the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ.
Jesus was born in Bethlehem in the land of Judah. His mother was names Mary and His father named Joseph. Jesus was a carpenter on earth, he suffered many of the same trials we experience everyday, yet he still did not sin. He went from town to town with his disciples. They procalimed the truth! That no one enters the Fathers home except through Him. "You can enter God's Kingom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it." Mathew 7:13-14 But as it was prophecised, Jesus Christ was humiliated in front of everyone, He was beated and tortured, He was nailed to a cross and crucified. At three o'clock Jesus uttered a loud cry and took His last breath. He ascended into hell and fought satan. Three days later He arose from the grave over death He had conquered. Then He ascended to Heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
Remember it's a relationship not a religion!!!!!
"And then he told them, 'Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone. Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved. But anyone who refuses to believe will be condemned. These miraculous signs will accompany those who believe: They will cast out demons in my name, and they will speak in new languages. They will be able to handle snakes with safety, and if they drink anything poisonous, it won't hurt them. They will be able to place their hands on the sick, and they will be healed." Mark 16:15-18
Ask God to enter your life right now, after all he did die to forgive all of our sins!!
The protagonist in the best-selling fiction book of all time.
Spolier Alert: Jesus dies.
Also used as an exclamation of shock. It can be used with the conjuction of another word inserted between 'Jesus' and 'Christ'.
1) Reference to Bible
Pastor: So have you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour?
Jessica: Oh wait, you mean that dude with the beard who's the main character in that popular bullshit book where magic happens? That one? Nah... did you hear I'm officially atheist?
2) - Shock
Ally: Did you hear Dan got into jail?
Ben: Jesus Christ! How the hell'd that happen!?
3) In conjuction with another word.
Tom: So what answer did you get for 5c on the maths homework?
Olly: Jesus rollerblading Christ, I forgot we had homework!
Lolita: So... when's your birthday again?
Beth: Jesus fucking Christ Lolita, how many times do I have to tell you?
The main character in the fiction story "The Bible". Portrayed by Jim Caviezel in the movie version.
Person 1- Dude, I just read The Bible. That Jesus Christ guy was kick ass. If only that was real...
Christian Asshole- It was real, he died for all of our sins.
Person 1- I bet you expect me to believe he turned water into wine too and healed people by 'miracles'. You're such a joker :D
(Christian Asshole walks away to go to church like a bitch instead of watching the Ravens vs Steelers)
He is the savior of heaven... God, the holy spirit... And the worldwide sport.
So you think you can pray to jesus? ...LETS GO PLAY SOME JESUS GUYS!!! Jesus Christ is so cool... ! Tyler are you going to play Jesus with us? "NO I want to play football go ask momna or lindsey!"
Not only is he the dude who mows my lawn, he is the world's most popular imaginary friend! Second only to Barney and Santa of course. But he is way too far out of their league to even be compared.
When Jesus Christ goes home from mowing my lawn, he gives Santa and Barney the old Mormon Fistbump.
(verb): The act of saying, whether by voice, e-mail, text message, or other form of communication, the phrase "Jesus Christ" as a direct response to a communication from another person. (i.e. "Can you help me with something?" -- "Jesus Christ, can't you do anything yourself")
The verb Jesus Christ does not need a suffix as it can be used in its original form in past, present, and future tense. After all, it is Jesus Christ, Superstar.
Don't you dare Jesus Christ me!
Why did you Jesus Christ me?
If he Jesus Christ me one more time, we are through.
The incarnated form of God, whom died for everybody's sins. Of which, were given to us by God anyway. He needn't have bothered in the first place.
Preachy Christian: Jesus Christ died for our sins, we should be grateful.
Clever Atheist: He died for the sins you claim he put on us himself.
Preachy Christian: Oh, ermm, ahh...