50
Jesus Christ is an imaginary person. He is also the main character of God's best-selling fictional book "The Bible".

Unfortunately, many cult members beleive Jesus Christ to be alive today, even though that would make him 2009 years old. Many cult members also beleive that Jesus Christ has magical powers; including, telepathy, teleportation, and telekinesis, among others.
person A : "Hey! I read this great book the other day! In it, some guy called Jesus Christ did all this crazy stuff! He can read my prayers and teleport!"

Person B : "Do you realise that Jesus Christ is a fictional person, and can't actually do all of the things he says he can?"
by Jonathon Harker April 01, 2009
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51
A word I say when I can't find my TV remote.
"Jesus Christ, where the hell is my damn TV remote?"
by Dr. Krabs September 02, 2009
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52
The main character in the fiction story "The Bible". Portrayed by Jim Caviezel in the movie version.
Person 1- Dude, I just read The Bible. That Jesus Christ guy was kick ass. If only that was real...
Christian Asshole- It was real, he died for all of our sins.
Person 1- I bet you expect me to believe he turned water into wine too and healed people by 'miracles'. You're such a joker :D
(Christian Asshole walks away to go to church like a bitch instead of watching the Ravens vs Steelers)
by Joe Balls69 June 27, 2011
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53
According to The Holy Bible the supposed begotten son of God who died for the sins of all mankind so that we may enter the kingdom of heaven.

Much uncertainty has arisen for centuries concerning the validity of the words and existence of Jesus Christ. It all falls on what people refer to as "faith", which is most often times interpreted to mean the truth.

That which is true for one may not be true for another. It is totally ludachrist (no pun intended) for one to believe that their perception is THE way. That is how terrorists feel when they fly planes into buildings and strap bombs to their chests and walk into a U.S. Embassy before setting them off.

Most likley, we do not know the truth and probably never will in this life, if ever.

Over the centuries Christians (who derive their title by supposedly following the teachings of Jesus Christ), have been inspired by multiple interpretations of countless renderings of The Holy Bible and perceptions of the words in the Bible and thus have carried the word of Christ and salvation to those who are deemed "unsaved" and/or "damned". This includes tribes of indigenous peoples found in remote areas of the world who are literally steeped in thousands upon thousands of years of tradition and ritual. I wonder how these people feel when someone comes poking along speaking of a miracle healing carpenter that was hung on a cross a few centuries ago that was sent here by a God forced to hurt them for all eternity lest they believe in this Holy Bible and the contents therein, basically telling these innocent people that the way that they have been doing things since long before the time of Christ and Christianity has been wrong all along.

Jesus Christ is a supposed representative of a God, who is just and loves unconditionally and yet is willing to send those who do not believe in him or his son to live an eternity of despair and agony. Jesus is a spokesperson for a God that does not allow us to do the things that he does or did, such as seeking vengance derived from anger and the wrong-doings of a fellow man. This is a normal human reaction for survival means and it seems that this God that Christ and his followers swear alliegance to wants us to "Do what I say and not what I do". This God denies us some things that are within our makeup (hate, vengefulness, anger, etc.) while being sympathetic to more obvious ones (love, forgiveness, compassion, sympathy).

Most Christians believe that this is how it is and that there is no other possible way. They believe that Christ will return and make the world into a place free of anything that will do harm to the believers and devotees in any fashion...for only 1,000 years of course. Then who knows what will happen. Maybe their dreaded Satan will take over again and set the whole circle into motion once more.

For many Jesus Christ is a well thought out fable, a concoction of several vivid imaginations. Still for some Jesus Christ is a man who was real and most likely did some very impressive things for a good number of people. He may have been rebellious and radical for his time and yet spiritual all the while, but still embellished a great deal, little by little over the past few mellinia to where the actual deeds done by Jesus Christ himself have been utterly and unretrievably lost and obliterated in the tar and muck of translation from person to person and book to book.

There is no hard evidence which suggests that he was the only begotten son of God nor does it prove that he died for a cause that was tangible and concrete enough to be known and undisputedly proven as THE truth from the biblical rendition of God.
Jesus is someone who may have been real or may have been false. He may have been a person who helped a lot of people, but tales of his deeds were written down and embellished so much that the truth will never be found again.
by E April 07, 2005
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54
(verb): The act of saying, whether by voice, e-mail, text message, or other form of communication, the phrase "Jesus Christ" as a direct response to a communication from another person. (i.e. "Can you help me with something?" -- "Jesus Christ, can't you do anything yourself")

The verb Jesus Christ does not need a suffix as it can be used in its original form in past, present, and future tense. After all, it is Jesus Christ, Superstar.
Don't you dare Jesus Christ me!

Why did you Jesus Christ me?

If he Jesus Christ me one more time, we are through.
by SMLB February 13, 2009
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55
Has zero to do with politics or governments.

Jesus Christ taught openly and freely in the open to any who would listen.

Satan teaches in secret in secret covens and conventicles and lodges and secret societies departing his occult(hidden),esoteric(secret) knowledge.This is where the politicians are made.
If it wasn't for Satanic secret societies Hitler and the Nazis never would have happened.

These evil cults were also behind every evil Empire in the history of the world.

Their ultimate goal is to go global and creat the New World Order.One all powerful Empire to enslave us all and make us servants of their Imperial Satanic cult.Like the Nazis....only WORSE!
by : ) have a nice day! January 08, 2005
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56
A fictional character from the Imagination Land episodes of South Park. Who, inadvertently, is quite the sharp-shooter with an M16.
Jesus Christ killed all the bad imaginary people with his M16.
by Scoggins February 28, 2010
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