Mythological Goalkeeper from Nazareth; he probably reached his peak around 27/28 AD.
Jesus saves! ..... Passes to Moses! ...... GOOOOOAAAALLLLL!!!!!
by Kenneeeeee January 24, 2008
Nice guy, with good ideas. Often called "Jeebus" in jest. Stressed kindness and forgiveness towards others, and leading an all-around good, virtuous life. One of the most interesting philosophical thinkers in history, and certainly one of the most quoted. Also, as seen on urbandictionary.com, he's apparently a lot of people's homeboys.
I'm not sure if he necessarily wanted his followers to condemn other faiths, or tell people that "If you don't believe in God, you'll burn in Hell, and I don't want that, so please please please believe in God", as in the case of "Read the bible and learn" who posted an earlier definition. He preached of mankind's free will, so I don't think he wanted that being taken away from us...
Anyways, he was a man who lived a truly moral and virtuous life. Christians see him as a god, non-Christians either see him as a prophet or a moral person who lived a good life, stoners see him...all the time... and UD Christians see him as a "homeboy"
Sweet Zombie Jesus!
--or--
Holy Monkey Jeebus!
by Atticus April 23, 2005
The son of the almighty God. Our brother who died for our sins, so that we could be saved from our ever-sinful lives.
"It is through Jesus Christ we are righteous before God."
by Unknown Believer May 09, 2008
Jesus is the way to God. He died for all of us and loves us very much.
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."-John 14:16
by Emery Day April 03, 2007
the only perfect man to ever walk the face of this earth and give hope a definition
Luke 8:28
When he saw Jesus, he cried out and fell at his feet, shouting at the top of his voice, "what do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you don't torture me!"

Jesus, Son of God
by Wheels July 14, 2005
The Son of God. He came to the to save the world from sin. He was born of a virgin so that the seed of din could not pass onto Him so that he would be a perfect sacrifice for man. He died on the Cross for the sins of the world so that those who believe and follow Him would be saved. When people say "God doesn't know how it feels to..." they are wrong because of Jesus. He went through everything but never once sinned.
John 3:16-19; Romans 6:23 "The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is through Christ Jesus our Lord" Hebrew 4:15 "Yet Jesus did not sin!"
by Chives February 04, 2006
I haven't read the Bible, but here's what I've deduced about Jesus from watching Fox News:

1.) Jesus is a die-hard Republican. He spends a lot of his time reading books by Ann Coulter and appearing at fundraisers for groups like Focus on the Family.

2.) Jesus was among the earliest proponents for the invasion of Iraq, and even today He sees the deaths of tens of thousands of innocent civilians as a necessary price to pay for installing a western-style democracy in Iraq.

3.) Jesus is an outspoken proponent of supply-side economics, which favor tax cuts to the wealthy. He's also a huge fan of Ronald Reagan.

4.) Jesus thinks that poor people are poor because they are lazy.

5.) Jesus is appalled by same-sex marriage. He thinks that straight people who hate each other have more of a right to be married than two gay people who love each other. Jesus strongly feels that a person's sexuality is a matter of choice.

6.) Jesus does not believe that global warming is caused by humans. He also thinks that intelligent design should be taught in science classes.

7.) Jesus supports capital punishment, and that's why He desperately wanted George W. Bush to be president, and He couldn't be more pleased with how the Bush Administration turned out.

8.) Jesus never misses the O'Reilly factor. And He absolutely hates the Colbert Report.

9). Jesus is radically opposed to a provision of health care to all citizens. He thinks it would lead to a welfare state.

10. And finally, Jesus is really upset that Barack Obama won the 2008 election. He has decided that a second coming will be necessary, and He will rapture people into the heavens on the basis of their party affiliations and campaign contributions.
Fox News is fair and balanced, even when it comes to Jesus!
by Jack Torrance-Overlook Hotel January 10, 2009

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