1) The best way of saying "Jesus Christ" without offending god.

2) Sometimes used when someone surprises you
1) Bill: hey Bob, did u know we have to work tomorrow?

Bob: but tomorrow is a Sunday.

Bill: i know the boss is being a real douche.

Bob: Jesus Titties!


2) (douche bag lurking in the shadows jumps out and shouts: BOOOOOO!!!

Person: Jesus Titties!
by candyman7766453 August 05, 2008

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Top Definition
An exclamation of surprised satisfaction or approval.

The expression attempts to compound the positive aspects of two things which are generally considered to be great: Jesus, being the greatest human to ever live; and titties, being the greatest human attribute. The phrase plays on the assumption that if Jesus were to have titties, they would have to be the most amazing titties in history.

It should be clear that to use this phrase in a moment when experiencing a surprisingly high level of satisfaction is to exaggerate one's actual feeling. Nothing can actually compare with actual exposure to Jesus Titties.
Scenario: you win the lottery

Reaction: JESUS TITTIES!!!

Scenario: You come into direct contact with Jesus Christ and discover he is actually a woman and has titties, at which point Jesus shows you his/her titties.

Reaction: JESUS TITTIES!!!
by Joaz22 July 31, 2009

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

Buy the t-shirt