people who knock on your door to try and get you to join their religion
jahovah's witnesses are fucking anoying, the only religion i want to join is the do what you fucking want religion
by the fresh prince January 30, 2005
people that are fated to die from simple wounds because they too rubbish to accept blood transfusions
Jo Ho's are rubbish, i mean look at them!
by Tilly January 22, 2005
A religious organization. It manifests many cult-like traits like all religions throughout history. Most hated by the common people for their tendency to spread their version of the bible to everyone, at any time. However, the JW is a rather docile and pleasant creature when their unrelenting urge to save all humanity is overlooked. They almost always travel in flocks of two or more.

Their closest cousin in behavior is the Mormon, although a JW is harder to get rid of and harder to catch off guard as they spend an average of three to five hours a week studying the bible and its related subjects.

As with all religions they have their own ideals, beliefs, practices and have been persecuted throughout history by all manner of peoples including such famous oppressors as Adolf Hitler and the Catholics.

Suggestion from an ex JW: When faced with a Jehovah's Witness pretend to be devotely Satanic and do not accept literature of any kind, no matter how small. Be extreme with the satanism, almost to the point of violence.
Close the curtains, that's a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses coming!
by Sarah the Shunga Bunny September 23, 2005
Many people have a wrong view of Jehovah's Witnesses, wich is unfortunate.

They have been falsely accused of not loving their children and letting them die.
They have been falsely accused of being against gouverment rules and disrespecting local authorities.

They have been falsely accused of trying to get as many followers as possible to get money.

These accusations are all wrong tho.

Many people do not know Jehovah's Witnesses are good, loving people. Often called strict, they are just welbehaved people, that care about others. They are knowed to leave the places they had congressations at totally clean.

Many people do not know Jehovah's Witnesses are everywhere on earth. They do everything posible to visit everyone on earth and tell them the good news about Gods Kingdom in their own language. Therefore they have translated the bible and their publications in more languages then any other book, wich sounds unbelievable, but is true.

Many people think Jehovah's Witnesses are not allowed to have fun in any way. The fact is tho that they have good reason for not participating in certain celebration, like christmas. Those celebrations are often pagan and Jehovah's Witnesses simply do not wish to participate in pagan rituals. Jehovahs Witnesses are allowed to do exercise and have fun, as long as it is not in violation with laws in the bible.

Many people do not know Jehovah's Witnesses have a totally different view about the future then most christian religions. They do not believe that bad people will burn forever in hell, and that all rightious people go to heaven. They believe that only a small group rightious people will go to heaven, the other rightious people can live forever in a paradise on earth. This will be posible after what they call Armageddon, in wich God will remove all bad people from earth, not sending them to a hell where they will suffer forever, but just destroying them.
Only good people will live forever on a paradise like earth, and that ofcourse is a very good thing to believe in. They want others to know this and that is one of the reasons they try to visit everyone.

Many people do not know Jehovah's Witnesses do not force their children or anyone else to get baptized or give money. Everyone is baptized because they want to, and their meetings are financed by their own gifts.

Many people do not know that they are called Jehovah's Witnesses instead of "Jehovas", wich they are called too often.

Many people do not know Jehovah's Witnesses welcome everyone who is interested to their meeting in their Kingdom Hall and are willing to give everyone who wants a free biblestudy.

For the best description of what they believe tho, its best to ask them in person, at their meeting or the next time they visit you for example.
They also have an official site, wich is viewable in 252 different languages:
""YOU are my witnesses," is the utterance of Jehovah."

Isaiah 43:10
by Carlo December 19, 2004
Sexual position where a man has intercourse with a female in an apartment building up against a hallway or door.
After I left the bar with that chick, we went back to my building and I gave her a Jehovah's witness on the 4th floor.
by johnniebaltimore February 06, 2007
A Christian Religion that takes its name from the Bible book of Isaiah, meaning to be witnesses of Jehovah. Known worldwide to preach to others in various settings, most commonly at the doors of homes and businesses. Considered a cult by many, also rumored not to believe in Christ. Yet since they use the entire Bible, and base all their beliefs in the scriptures, it could not be logical that they would not believe in God's son.
The Jehovah's Witnesses were at my door today, they wanted to share a scripture with me and give me Bible based publications.
by Marcus Poleus, Porn Star January 09, 2005
The simple definition is as the name says Jehovah's Witnesses, or witnesses of Jehovah. In the texts of scriptures and writings from Moses to John, the word YHWH appears over 6700 times. No matter what language you use, whether you translate or transliterate, YHWH's name means "He who causes to become" and it directly points to His real name, which is the same in all languages.
Jehovah"He who causes to become", has caused to become the earth, all life on earth and even a way for all our sins to be washed away through the sacrifice of his Son, Jesus Christ.
And what do we as humans need to do? Practice the teachings set out for us in the Bible! All countries worldwide today have laws regarding murder, rape, theft. WORLDWIDE, we as humans believe these things to be wrong. If humans are "created in God's image" would we not also have the same ideas genetically coded into us? We , as humans, also know that the current world society has declined since ancient times. We have not rooted out hunger. We have not prevented wars. We have not eliminated disease.
As humans, we strive to do our own thing, find our own way.
Is it possible for a race, who were caused to become, to find their own way?
Our history speaks volumes!

Jehovah's Witnesses go door to door because they believe in their hearts and minds that humanity can be saved because Jehovah wants all his children, who he "caused to become", to live and not to die through ignorance and pride.

Wouldn't you yell at the top of your lungs if you knew that your friends and family were about to be engulfed in a horrific and terrible natural disaster?

How do you respond?

by shaemas June 22, 2006

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