I was raised a witness, though I'm not involved anymore. They are not a cult, as some on here will have you believe.

They are a fundamentalist sect of Christianity. Yes they are annoying when out preaching, but tell them not to come back and they won't.

Unlike the Catholics, they aren't responsible for some of histories greatest atrocities. In fact, they are a very peace-loving people who live simple lives, centered around strong family values and honesty in all things. If Jesus wouldn't even let Peter defend him with his sword, what sense does it make that mainstream Christianity has caused or condoned every war in the last two thousand years?

Those who say that their interpretation of the bible is wrong clearly don't study history. Things like the Trinity, the date of Christmas and the differentiation of the clergy/laity don't know that those things were added by the council of nicea 400 years after Jesus died. That council was lead by emperor Constantine, who was a pagan until the day he died. He added those and other rules to ease Rome into converting.

Of all the religious nutjobs out there, they are about the most harmless. I'm not saying I'd ever rejoin, but that's just because I hate religion. Just about every witness I know is as nice a person as I could ever hope to meet.
Yeah those Jehovah's witnesses are kind of kookie, but at least they never burned people alive just for owning a bible like the Catholics did...
by Woogie boogie! March 14, 2012
10 Words related to Jehovah's Witness
A group of people who's faces are flat from getting doors slammed in their faces.
Jehovah's Witness: Ouch, my face feels like Kansas.
by slatte November 09, 2006
The name of a religious cult who get brainwashed by mind control techniques into believing that their interpretation of the Bible is better than anyone else's.

It was started by some idiot that got this vision of the world coming to an end in 1914. When 1914 came and went, he then managed to pursuade his flock that it would happen in 1942. When 1942 came and went, well let me put it this way... Anyone who would even think about joining this cult is mentally ill to begin with.

They publish some toilet trash called the Watch Tower and are also known as the Watch Tower Society and JWs. In 1933 their leaders conspired with Hitler against the Jews. Several of their top members were thrown in jail for committing fraud, larceny, sexual deviant acts, etc. But somehow the cult manages to go on. Go figure.

If a member deviates in any way from their way of life all other members are required to scorn them. This is just one of their many mind control techniques.

But the worse thing about JWs is that every year hundreds of children die because these geniuses think that "Thou shalt not eat blood" refers to life saving transfusions instead of becoming a vampire.
Jehovah's Witnesses are the "False Prophets" that God refers to in the Bible. When one comes to your door, just give them a copy of the letter their leaders sent in support of Hitler and tell the bigots to fuck off.
by Alfie The Horndog August 10, 2005
The perfect example of why not to open the door to strangers.
I almost wished they were serial rapists when I found out I had opened my door to 2 Jehovah's witnesses.
by s0x0r September 07, 2005
Students of the Bible who preach the "Kingdom of God." They claim that their God--Jehovah--is using Jesus Christ to bring an end to the world as we know it.
One of Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door, shared a scripture, and offered me a Watchtower magazine.
by Mack C January 14, 2007
A person who, despite all efforts to make them stop, refuses to stop calling, showing up, or otherwise attempting to make contact with another person.
After I dumped her, she went all Jehovah's Witness on me.
by SabineLaGrande June 08, 2004
A rare breed, they usually travel in groups. They can be found roaming through neighborhoods standing on the doorsteps of homes. In the event that you see a Jehovah's witness follow these steps. Close the curtains, shut off the tv, and hide. The jehovah will then proceed to ring your door bell, stay calm dont make any sudden movements, this will enrage the witness but they will soon leave, but watch out they still may be watching.
Jeff: o shit hide the Jehovah's witness are coming

Jehovah's witness: "ding dong"..........those MOTHER FUCKERS!

Bob: that was a close one.
by Avalache2121 July 11, 2008
A bunch of rats who insist on forcing their religious beliefs on the general public at all costs, including harassment.
A whole bunch of Jehovah's Witness freaks woke me up on my day off last week, what a bunch of subversive losers!
by Piranha April 24, 2006

Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

Ă—