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17.
Jehovah's Witnesses are Christians who believe that the Bible is God's word and that Jesus is their Savior. This Christian denomination dates back to the late 19th century. Charles Taze Russel is credited with organizing the first Bible study groups that later gave origin to the Jehovah's Witness sect; these groups focused on Bible prophecy and the second coming of Christ. This second coming is said to have happened invisibly in 1914 - a date that was originally thought to mark the end of the world or Armageddon. Their name comes from the Bible, the Book of Isaiah, Chapter 43, Verses 10 and 11. The meaning behind the name is rather clear. It indicates that they bear witness to Jehovah - Jehovah being the personal name of God. There are about 16.6 million Jehovah's Witnesses around the world, with only three countries (US, Brazil, and Mexico) holding a population of over half a million. Of that number, approximately 6.7 million Jehovah's Witnesses are involved in active preaching and are part of the official statistic count. They believe in a supreme God - a spirit which has a body, but not a human body. Jesus is the Lord and Savior but He is not a part of God. They do not believe in the Trinity - the father, son and holy spirit - as, for example, Catholics do. Rather, Jesus is separate from God and was God's servant on Earth. Jesus is also said to have been given an exalted status in heaven to a higher level than angels.
Because they believe Jesus is not God, that prayer is a form of worship, and that one must not worship false gods, they pray to God, not Jesus. They believe that after the end of the world, which is imminent, 144,000 people will get a chance to go to heaven. The rest will have a chance to be resurrected and live on a permanent paradise on Earth, as long as they are virtuous in life. Those judged unrighteous will cease to exist. Jehovah's Witnesses do not believe in a remaining soul after death. They believe all other religions to be false and are deeply involved in preaching as a way to impart the hope of resurrection to humanity. Politics is not an important part of life, as they believe governments will also be destroyed imminently. They rarely vote, and they do not take part in anything that has to do with national politics, including the singing of the national anthem or saluting the flag. They also do not celebrate birthdays or Christmas, and most avoid Thanksgiving, which they consider to be a Pagan holiday. Weddings and funerals are observed, and celebrating anniversaries is not forbidden. They tend to be conservative. Homosexuality, premarital sex, and abortion are considered sins. They do not accept blood transfusions, even if it means death. However, more and more hospitals are now using bloodless techniques in surgery, often crediting Jehovah's Witnesses as their push to research alternatives.
by World_Religions September 13, 2010
 
1.
The name of a religious cult who get brainwashed by mind control techniques into believing that their interpretation of the Bible is better than anyone else's.

It was started by some idiot that got this vision of the world coming to an end in 1914. When 1914 came and went, he then managed to pursuade his flock that it would happen in 1942. When 1942 came and went, well let me put it this way... Anyone who would even think about joining this cult is mentally ill to begin with.

They publish some toilet trash called the Watch Tower and are also known as the Watch Tower Society and JWs. In 1933 their leaders conspired with Hitler against the Jews. Several of their top members were thrown in jail for committing fraud, larceny, sexual deviant acts, etc. But somehow the cult manages to go on. Go figure.

If a member deviates in any way from their way of life all other members are required to scorn them. This is just one of their many mind control techniques.

But the worse thing about JWs is that every year hundreds of children die because these geniuses think that "Thou shalt not eat blood" refers to life saving transfusions instead of becoming a vampire.
Jehovah's Witnesses are the "False Prophets" that God refers to in the Bible. When one comes to your door, just give them a copy of the letter their leaders sent in support of Hitler and tell the bigots to fuck off.
by Alfie The Horndog August 10, 2005
 
2.
A group of people who's faces are flat from getting doors slammed in their faces.
Jehovah's Witness: Ouch, my face feels like Kansas.
by slatte November 09, 2006
 
3.
The perfect example of why not to open the door to strangers.
I almost wished they were serial rapists when I found out I had opened my door to 2 Jehovah's witnesses.
by s0x0r September 07, 2005
 
4.
Students of the Bible who preach the "Kingdom of God." They claim that their God--Jehovah--is using Jesus Christ to bring an end to the world as we know it.
One of Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door, shared a scripture, and offered me a Watchtower magazine.
by Mack C January 14, 2007
 
5.
A person who, despite all efforts to make them stop, refuses to stop calling, showing up, or otherwise attempting to make contact with another person.
After I dumped her, she went all Jehovah's Witness on me.
by SabineLaGrande June 08, 2004
 
6.
A rare breed, they usually travel in groups. They can be found roaming through neighborhoods standing on the doorsteps of homes. In the event that you see a Jehovah's witness follow these steps. Close the curtains, shut off the tv, and hide. The jehovah will then proceed to ring your door bell, stay calm dont make any sudden movements, this will enrage the witness but they will soon leave, but watch out they still may be watching.
Jeff: o shit hide the Jehovah's witness are coming

Jehovah's witness: "ding dong"..........those MOTHER FUCKERS!

Bob: that was a close one.
by Avalache2121 July 11, 2008
 
7.
A bunch of rats who insist on forcing their religious beliefs on the general public at all costs, including harassment.
A whole bunch of Jehovah's Witness freaks woke me up on my day off last week, what a bunch of subversive losers!
by Piranha April 24, 2006