Jehovah's Witnesses are Christians who believe that the Bible is God's word and that Jesus is their Savior. This Christian denomination dates back to the late 19th century. Charles Taze Russel is credited with organizing the first Bible study groups that later gave origin to the Jehovah's Witness sect; these groups focused on Bible prophecy and the second coming of Christ. This second coming is said to have happened invisibly in 1914 - a date that was originally thought to mark the end of the world or Armageddon. Their name comes from the Bible, the Book of Isaiah, Chapter 43, Verses 10 and 11. The meaning behind the name is rather clear. It indicates that they bear witness to Jehovah - Jehovah being the personal name of God. There are about 16.6 million Jehovah's Witnesses around the world, with only three countries (US, Brazil, and Mexico) holding a population of over half a million. Of that number, approximately 6.7 million Jehovah's Witnesses are involved in active preaching and are part of the official statistic count. They believe in a supreme God - a spirit which has a body, but not a human body. Jesus is the Lord and Savior but He is not a part of God. They do not believe in the Trinity - the father, son and holy spirit - as, for example, Catholics do. Rather, Jesus is separate from God and was God's servant on Earth. Jesus is also said to have been given an exalted status in heaven to a higher level than angels.
Because they believe Jesus is not God, that prayer is a form of worship, and that one must not worship false gods, they pray to God, not Jesus. They believe that after the end of the world, which is imminent, 144,000 people will get a chance to go to heaven. The rest will have a chance to be resurrected and live on a permanent paradise on Earth, as long as they are virtuous in life. Those judged unrighteous will cease to exist. Jehovah's Witnesses do not believe in a remaining soul after death. They believe all other religions to be false and are deeply involved in preaching as a way to impart the hope of resurrection to humanity. Politics is not an important part of life, as they believe governments will also be destroyed imminently. They rarely vote, and they do not take part in anything that has to do with national politics, including the singing of the national anthem or saluting the flag. They also do not celebrate birthdays or Christmas, and most avoid Thanksgiving, which they consider to be a Pagan holiday. Weddings and funerals are observed, and celebrating anniversaries is not forbidden. They tend to be conservative. Homosexuality, premarital sex, and abortion are considered sins. They do not accept blood transfusions, even if it means death. However, more and more hospitals are now using bloodless techniques in surgery, often crediting Jehovah's Witnesses as their push to research alternatives.
by ♫ Highway to Hell ♫ September 13, 2010

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Top Definition
A group of people who's faces are flat from getting doors slammed in their faces.
Jehovah's Witness: Ouch, my face feels like Kansas.
by slatte November 09, 2006

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The name of a religious cult who get brainwashed by mind control techniques into believing that their interpretation of the Bible is better than anyone else's.

It was started by some idiot that got this vision of the world coming to an end in 1914. When 1914 came and went, he then managed to pursuade his flock that it would happen in 1942. When 1942 came and went, well let me put it this way... Anyone who would even think about joining this cult is mentally ill to begin with.

They publish some toilet trash called the Watch Tower and are also known as the Watch Tower Society and JWs. In 1933 their leaders conspired with Hitler against the Jews. Several of their top members were thrown in jail for committing fraud, larceny, sexual deviant acts, etc. But somehow the cult manages to go on. Go figure.

If a member deviates in any way from their way of life all other members are required to scorn them. This is just one of their many mind control techniques.

But the worse thing about JWs is that every year hundreds of children die because these geniuses think that "Thou shalt not eat blood" refers to life saving transfusions instead of becoming a vampire.
Jehovah's Witnesses are the "False Prophets" that God refers to in the Bible. When one comes to your door, just give them a copy of the letter their leaders sent in support of Hitler and tell the bigots to fuck off.
by Alfie The Horndog August 10, 2005

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Students of the Bible who preach the "Kingdom of God." They claim that their God--Jehovah--is using Jesus Christ to bring an end to the world as we know it.
One of Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door, shared a scripture, and offered me a Watchtower magazine.
by Mack C January 14, 2007

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The perfect example of why not to open the door to strangers.
I almost wished they were serial rapists when I found out I had opened my door to 2 Jehovah's witnesses.
by s0x0r September 07, 2005

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A person who, despite all efforts to make them stop, refuses to stop calling, showing up, or otherwise attempting to make contact with another person.
After I dumped her, she went all Jehovah's Witness on me.
by SabineLaGrande June 08, 2004

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A rare breed, they usually travel in groups. They can be found roaming through neighborhoods standing on the doorsteps of homes. In the event that you see a Jehovah's witness follow these steps. Close the curtains, shut off the tv, and hide. The jehovah will then proceed to ring your door bell, stay calm dont make any sudden movements, this will enrage the witness but they will soon leave, but watch out they still may be watching.
Jeff: o shit hide the Jehovah's witness are coming

Jehovah's witness: "ding dong"..........those MOTHER FUCKERS!

Bob: that was a close one.
by Avalache2121 July 11, 2008

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I was exposed to the Jehova's Witness "Truth," when I fell in love with a girl that was a witness. Although, I was raised Catholic, I was willing to investigate Jehovah's Witness doctrine believing it was fundamentally Christian. Therin, much to my shergrin I learned of my terrible misjudgement. Firstly, Jehovah's Witnesses claim almost an elitist stance that they are the only religion and that they take nothing away from the bible nor add anything. Secondly, they claim that the material earthly goal one should strive to attain is to live a life that is as Christlike as possible. (That is not only in study, speech but also in action. However, if one observes the practices of this so called religion from an objective, scholastic point of view, they will soon see JW's for what they are a masochistic and spiritually oppressive cult. I hope my personal experiences and observations will shed some light on what I am conveying. It would help to print the Webster definition of cult to illustrate my point.
The girl I fell in love with attended the Eagle Rock, California Jehovah's Witnesss Kingdom Hall and had since she was seven. At eighteen she became pregnant, bore an illegitimate child and received a public reprisal which for layman is a shunning of other members of the congregation. Would not the spirit of Christ inspire said Christians to help this girl emotionally and financially rather than close her out. Even her own family was told to shun her. Now for those of you that do not know JW Kingdom Halls are run by otherwise socially deficient men who oppress the freedoms and voices of women perhaps necessitated by the fact there are alot of beautiful women ussually black or hispanic and really geeky looking guys. Now throughout life young girls are taught that dating, marriage with non-believers (any non JW even if he is a Christian Pastor) or fear public dissfellowship which means the persons personal life is made public and noone in the congregation is allowed to so much as say hello to them. Stron Chrisian compassion huh? These zealots go so far as to put these womens house under surveillance and call at all hours taking away from their freedom. Further, the JW cult ensures for its self preservation by enforcing their will through religion as an all consuming lifestyle by making members attend congregation 6-12 hours a week plus field service. Nontheless girls will be girls and my sexy little JW managed 8 sexual partners in 10 years. Between us I have to say I benefited from the oppression she endured because the way this girl went at it made a Catholic girls look like saints. Needless to say a year into our physical relationship, the geeky old elders found out and publically reprimanded my girlfriend in front of the congregation. Her own family cant talk to her. She has to check in as if she were on parole now. Save yourself from losing you life and your soul. The JWs were created by a nutty guy named Charles Taze Russell less than 100 years ago. They have perverted, disected and miscommunicated the Bible's original message of LOVE. THEY ARE A CULT!!!!! If JW's were not full of bull why does 1/2 their meeting revolve around The WatchTower Publication which is a monthly magazine based on men's views of religious issues in the modern world (The have already predicted the end of the world 3 times-idiots)-In closing JWs are a small group of the world population claiming an esoteric knowledge of God's, demanding compliance by its members by use of fears, preying on the undereducated impoverished of our country/world (38% Latin, 44% Black, 18% white median income $20,240. CULT CULT CULT. Escape from the Watchtower a benevolent loving God will understand he gave you a life of your own to live!!!
by Michael Wright July 06, 2006

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