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33.
Jehovah's Witnesses? Yes, that is the way they refer to themselves. It is a descriptive name, indicating that they bear witness concerning Jehovah, his God ship, and his purposes. "God," "Lord," and "Creator"—like "President," "King," and "General"—are titles and may be applied to several different personages. But "Jehovah" is a personal name and refers to the almighty God and Creator of the universe. This is shown at Psalm 83:18, according to the King James version of the Bible: "That men may know that thou, whose name alone is JEHOVAH, art the most high over all the earth."
God's personal name in ancient Hebrew

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The name Jehovah (or Yahweh, as the Roman Catholic Jerusalem Bible and some scholars prefer) appears almost 7,000 times in the original Hebrew Scriptures. Most Bibles do not show it as such but substitute "God" or "Lord" for it. However, even in these Bibles, a person can usually tell where the original Hebrew text uses Jehovah because in those places the substituted words are written in large and small capitals, thus: GOD, LORD. Several modern translations do use either the name Jehovah or the name Yahweh. Hence, the New World Translation reads at Isaiah 42:8, "I am Jehovah. That is my name."
The name as related to
a courtroom drama

9,000,000 Jehovah's Witnesses Worldwide
Look, it's those awesome Jehovah's Witnesses people!
I want to talk to them!
by fffffffffaaefajff June 21, 2010
 
1.
The name of a religious cult who get brainwashed by mind control techniques into believing that their interpretation of the Bible is better than anyone else's.

It was started by some idiot that got this vision of the world coming to an end in 1914. When 1914 came and went, he then managed to pursuade his flock that it would happen in 1942. When 1942 came and went, well let me put it this way... Anyone who would even think about joining this cult is mentally ill to begin with.

They publish some toilet trash called the Watch Tower and are also known as the Watch Tower Society and JWs. In 1933 their leaders conspired with Hitler against the Jews. Several of their top members were thrown in jail for committing fraud, larceny, sexual deviant acts, etc. But somehow the cult manages to go on. Go figure.

If a member deviates in any way from their way of life all other members are required to scorn them. This is just one of their many mind control techniques.

But the worse thing about JWs is that every year hundreds of children die because these geniuses think that "Thou shalt not eat blood" refers to life saving transfusions instead of becoming a vampire.
Jehovah's Witnesses are the "False Prophets" that God refers to in the Bible. When one comes to your door, just give them a copy of the letter their leaders sent in support of Hitler and tell the bigots to fuck off.
by Alfie The Horndog August 10, 2005
 
2.
A group of people who's faces are flat from getting doors slammed in their faces.
Jehovah's Witness: Ouch, my face feels like Kansas.
by slatte November 09, 2006
 
3.
The perfect example of why not to open the door to strangers.
I almost wished they were serial rapists when I found out I had opened my door to 2 Jehovah's witnesses.
by s0x0r September 07, 2005
 
4.
Students of the Bible who preach the "Kingdom of God." They claim that their God--Jehovah--is using Jesus Christ to bring an end to the world as we know it.
One of Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door, shared a scripture, and offered me a Watchtower magazine.
by Mack C January 14, 2007
 
5.
A person who, despite all efforts to make them stop, refuses to stop calling, showing up, or otherwise attempting to make contact with another person.
After I dumped her, she went all Jehovah's Witness on me.
by SabineLaGrande June 08, 2004
 
6.
A rare breed, they usually travel in groups. They can be found roaming through neighborhoods standing on the doorsteps of homes. In the event that you see a Jehovah's witness follow these steps. Close the curtains, shut off the tv, and hide. The jehovah will then proceed to ring your door bell, stay calm dont make any sudden movements, this will enrage the witness but they will soon leave, but watch out they still may be watching.
Jeff: o shit hide the Jehovah's witness are coming

Jehovah's witness: "ding dong"..........those MOTHER FUCKERS!

Bob: that was a close one.
by Avalache2121 July 11, 2008
 
7.
A bunch of rats who insist on forcing their religious beliefs on the general public at all costs, including harassment.
A whole bunch of Jehovah's Witness freaks woke me up on my day off last week, what a bunch of subversive losers!
by Piranha April 24, 2006