1. You know at least one person who lives on a street named after an Indian tribe no one has ever heard Of
2. NOTHING is within walking distance
3. There are two sides of town, but only one high school
4. The biggest hangouts are the parking lots of the A&P, Pathmark, the church, and the schools.
5. People act ghetto, yet five minutes away is a cow farm.
6. There are two A&Ps right next to each other.
7. You know that Berkshire Valley, Weldon, and Clinton road never end.
8. There are twelve gas stations in a three mile radius.
9. The school pays to fix something that was newly installed.
10. You know at least three people who live on Notch Road.
11. Your teachers have duct tape wars on Halloween.
12. You have a three and a half month long summer vacation, yet your winter break is four days.
13. Two or more of your teachers or their wives are pregnant.
14. One of the only places to get phone service in the high school is the bathroom, and you know which one.
15. The school builds new bathrooms, but keeps them locked.
16. There is a school store, but it’s not open during lunches.
17. 90% of the town lives on or directly near a lake.
18. Half of the people who move into the town move away within two years.
19. You know one person who works at a food store, one at a fast food place, one at Dunkin Donuts, and at least 6 at the Rockaway Mall.
20. At least one of your teachers shouldn't be allowed around children.
21. You've had one or more teachers who are more than four inches shorter than you.
22. You've been stuck in a classroom because the lock broke or the door is stuck.
23. Bomb scares turn into Woodstock.
24. When the talk of the town begins with “Well, s/he was drunk” and ends with “And then they passed out.”
25. The Windows they installed in the new rooms don't open, and the ones that do are 6 inches big.
26. The school safety members refer to the D-Wing as the Delta Sector
27. There are twelve members of said safety team, but the four that ARENT in the cafeteria are no where to be found.
28. Your English teacher keeps dead plants, and your biology class looks like a jungle.
29. People put carrots and/or pudding into rolls and throw them.
30. When the same kid is suspended every year for drug possession because the Zero Tolerance Policy is so strict.
31. Your teachers are happy about having fire drills.
32. You have read more than one book about a young black girl being raped.
33. Only the ugly girls get in trouble for disobeying the dress code.
34. You know about the Accelerated Read scandal.
35. You know who Elwood is.
36. The JV soccer field was remodeled into a pond.
37. You get out of half of your classes because someone put shaving cream in them.
38. You know better than to swim in 9 out of 10 lakes in the area.
39. There is a whole development named after a rock, including a lake, a neighborhood, a pavilion, and a school.
40. You give directions by how far away from Brady bridge or The We <3 Steve rock your house is.
41. You live within five minutes of two different delis.
42. There is a road with signs that alternate Welcome to Jefferson, Welcome to West Milford, and Welcome to Sparta every 200 meters.
43. Your excuse for not dating people from Jefferson has the words “gene pool” in it.
44. You know at least one person from Vernon, Sparta, Parsippany, Wayne, Kinnelon, Roxbury, and West Milford.
45. You understand what people are talking about when they make a reference to Pope Dope.
46. Whenever anyone asks you where you're from you hesitate before telling them.
47. You drive around the town with your friends for hours at a time because there’s nothing else to do.
48. The high school is 1010 Weldon Road, Oak Ridge NJ, 07438 But the Municipal Building down the road is Lake Hopatcong.
49. Your claim to fame is Derek Drymon lived here.
50. You really, really hate Pope John, Sparta and Vernon