50
a man who makes orgasm noises to the point of turning purple. he lives in online forums and enjoys driving people crazy. he also is usually found 69ing a fake stuffed turtle. also can be used as a verb such as "I just jareded that turtle" and insult. EXTREMELY GAY
youve been spending alot of time on those forums lately, your starting to turn into a jared.
by metallballer February 05, 2008
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51
A short round unathletic pathetic excuse for a human being. He doesn't wear underwear, so the same track pants he wears everyday rides up his ass. He laughs at himself and thinks that everybody is his friend.
Jared Landis
by jaredlandis123 January 28, 2013
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52
I just took a Jared.
by Awesomecoolnoncrappy person December 12, 2010
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53
a hairy homeless midget who never showers. It lives under bridges, it's diet consists of toothpaste & waffles. Very vicious and does not make a good pet.
Girl: I had a pet Jared once, i had to get rid of it though.
Boy: Why?
Girl: It smelled horrible and ate all my toothpaste. Then it tried to bite me.
Boy: You poor thing...
by A Very Amazing Person. (: December 19, 2010
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54
he was such a jared to believe jon poh.smarty lololololol hahaha
by jimlimkim October 13, 2011
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55
the act of messing with or fucking up someone's Myspace/Facebook/etc. profile without their permission. You can jared someone's profile by adding lame interests, changing their default picture to David Hasselhoff, or changing their 'about me' section to reflect a homosexual lifestyle.
Example of jared :

"I'm sick of getting my profile jared-ed every time I forget to sign out!"

"I spent four hours last night jared-ing her profile."
by Larongitis December 07, 2008
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56
To completely kill everyone in the room's buzz by being totally negative and against everyone else.
Wow, that Jared completely ruined the party.

No, I couldn't have fun last night, i was with a Jared

Bald Headed FUCK!
by buttsexman1234 February 04, 2010
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