|1.||Japanese Pixel Monster|
The Japanese Pixel Monster, which can be abbreviated to JPM, is a horrendous and despicable creature which lurks throughout the vast majority of the Japanese porn which is available online. This sinister creature only appears as the video is working towards the climax and the genitals of the featured men or women are about to be revealed. It then remains for the duration of the video, constantly looming over your otherwise enjoyable viewing experience. The most heinous aspect of the Japanese Pixel Monster is actually how *little* it blurs out: every part can be identified, and even curvature is distinguishable—nevertheless, the malevolent little pixels serve as a much unwelcome distraction and give the feeling of watching some kind of watered-down softcore porno (even though what you are really viewing is most likely some pretty sick shit). This can often result in a discouraging atmosphere, leaving the once hopeful audience with a chronic case of blue balls for the rest of the night.
Evidently, the Japanese Pixel Monster is a product of Japanese censorship laws wherein adult movie theaters are free to show absolutely anything (be it live-action or animated), so long as any genitals are blurred.
Pervert: "So I was watching this awesome porno with two Japanese chicks crapping on each others' chests... it was really hot, except when they went to do the close up—get this—the Japanese Pixel Monster came along and blurred out the girl's ass hole! Can you believe that?? I could barely see the turd squeezing its way out.. so now I'm like... pssssht... what was even the point of all that build-up, ya know?"
Friend: "Dude, that's fucked up."
Pervert: "I know, right?!"
Friend: "No, I mean I can't believe you watch that sick shit."
Friend: "Dude, I don't think we can be friends anymore."
Pervert: "Oh, I see......"