These are :
a:) Being Clinically Obese
b:) Thinking you have a sense of humour, to the delusional point that you have convinced yourself you are an Hilarious Comedian, albeit a Clinically Obese Un-Funny Hilarious Comedian.
Symptoms include being Fat and Totally Un-Funny, eating all the pies and loving the sound of your own Fat Squeaky fat-ass voice.
Long term prospects are not good for any person you come into contact with.
Only known cure: Tear up your Equity Card and get back to working in McDonalds where you belong Fattie..!
Gavin: ' I'll tell you why M'fanwie, I am James Corden and because I am under the illusion I am a Funny Fat-Ass Toss-Monkey, when I'm not.... Innit! Plus there's nothin' wrong with bein' the only Gay in the Village!'