Has the best white-boy magic around. He has the best 6-pack you've ever seen. He's good at beating ass. His penis is insanely huge and he often goes by the
nickname "Almost 9". His smile makes any girl melt. He has a genuine heart and is hilarious. He has the best singing voice, ever. He's an amazing friend.
"Did you see him?! He looked so hot."
"He's no Jake Kirby!"