A fridge literally. Causes earthquakes on the other side of the globe everytime it moves. Usually found in the kitchen munching on twinkies and various other junk foods. Does not stray away much from its natural habitat. Impossible to catch in the wild, even with master balls. Will throw KFC drumsticks at you as a last resort, or if it feels significantly threatened. Warning: DO NOT ever attempt to steal its food, unspeakable things will happen to you. Known to cause periodical solar eclipses when it wakes up in the morning. Straps a shopping cart to its back as emergency back up when it gets low on food. Well known for devouring 10 layer cake's brother in 2 bites.
Joe: Whats that sound O_O
Jim: ZOMG ITS A JADED CALAMITY!!!
*A wild Jaded Calamity has appeared*
Ash: HURRY ULTRA BALLS QUICK!