|1.||It's 5:00 somewhere|
The best excuse to justify drinking/getting wasted whenever, wherever. Also works for "It's 4:20 somewhere" (although neither are necessarily always true).
"It's only half past 12, but I don't care...It's 5 o'clock somewhere." -Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffett ("It's 5:00 somewhere")
Kathy: "Stu. It's 9 AM. Get your lazy ass to work."
Stu: "Haha I'm fucking wasted bitch. I just polished off that fifth of Jack over there."
Kathy: "What the fuck are you doing getting drunk at 9 in the morning? When you get fired what how are we going to feed our poor starving little children?"
Stu: "Shut up bitch, it's 5:00 somewhere. Don't blow my buzz."