Chav,emo or tard: African monkeys? Yes they are those small and funny creatures
Indie Kid: Because of tards like you this country is falling down
They will smugly admit to having an "eclectic" or "alternative" taste in music, but what they really mean is that what they listen to is better than what you listen to. If confronted with bands they have never heard of, they will vaguely dismiss them and run home to check them out on Pitchfork.
Indiekids will claim to read books, but are often simply reading reviews or lists of books compiled by other indiekids. When fouled up in a conversation about a specific book by a four-eyes or member of the literati, the indiekid will claim that they are mixing up plots, characters or details with other books they have just read. If not pressed on the matter they will become offended and ragequit.
Fond of irony, but lacking the ability to define what irony is, the indiekid is often at a loss when having a tête-à-tête people who use the word ironic ironically.
Indiekids may later evolve into hipsters or scenesters.
Indiekid: "No, well, of course I've heard it, but I just didn't feel it. Too commercial and well-polished. Plus I've really been getting into IDM again lately..."
Joe: "IDM? Never heard of it."
Indiekid: "Oh, that's no surprise, it stands for Intelligent dance music."
Joe: "Oh for f*cks sake."
1: Listen to a million bands that no one has ever heard of. The less well-known they are, the cooler you become. Nothing makes you cooler than rattling off a list of obscure indie bands to someone slightly less hipster than you are. Remember, all well-known bands are sell outs.
2: Commit yourself to being different, specifically for the purpose of being more hipster than your peers. Good ways to be different include wearing flannel shirts, having shaggy hair, and making Juno-style, sarcastic jokes. Basically, just look and act like a hipster.
3: You ARE better than everyone else, and make sure they know it. Be sure to roll your eyes at anyone who doesn't know of all your obscure indie bands. Be sure to brag about the books you read and your favorite wine. Be a pretentious snob.
You will find them, rolling ciggys, drinking coffee, drinking goon, riding bicyles, being vegeterian, having perfect vocabulary, saying darling, darling, darling, watching the Virgin Suicides, shopping at opshops and finding oh so fashionable outfits that your dead great grandmother used to wear cause its so vintage, having an extremely strange interest in the UK and everything about it, using polaroids or film cameras or fisheyes or just loving photography... Indie's listen to the Smiths, Joy Division and weird psychedelic shit.
they used to love lookbook.nu, they used to love black rimmed glasses, they used to listen to MGMT, but they became too indie for all of it. Indies will always hate anything in the top 20. Indies will always ask "WHAT IS INDIE?!?!?!" But they do know what indie is..
KATE (indie#2): i'll ride over there, we'll catch a coffee?
REUBEN (indie #1): Okay sure then we can go savers?
KATE (indie#2): Okay darling!
BRIAN (Normal kid): fucking indie kids.